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I accidentally bumped into someone on the subway today and, before I was able to acknowledge the bump with a polite, "I'm sorry," it was acknowledged by the bumpee with a very audible "watch out, you dumb ass-licker!" I was so taken aback that my first reaction was to escalate the confrontation further, and just as I was about to smack the pacifier out of her mouth, my eye caught an advertisement. It was an ad that I had glazed over about a million times, like every ad littering the length of NYC subway cars. But this time it struck me — almost as hard as I wanted to strike this foul-mouthed toddler who had embarrassed me in front of all of these wonderful, immigrant commuters whose opinion of me I valued deeply. The ad was for Tequila or Junior Achievement or something, and it read, "Life is harsh." Tell me about it.
Everyone sure has become mean lately. I used to think being confronted with rudeness and aggression was a product of living in New York, but then Seinfeld went off the air. Now I realize it is everywhere else, too. TV, movies, music, and advertising have all enlisted scores of members in the Cult of Mean. Maybe it's a reaction to the self-deprecating narcissism that was popular during the Gen-X scramble, but something made everyone turn ugly. (No offense to that guy from The Verve...)
One of the biggest criminals of mean is, I'm afraid, Comedy Central. Don't get me wrong — I like the funny stuff. But Comedy Central's newest line-up of shows is a shrine to mean. South Park's visceral cruelty is the reigning kind, but an even more auspicious Admiral of Mean is the snickering high-fivin' all-boys party, The Daily Show. Truthfully, the first time I watched the Daily Show I thought it was a cable access telethon for the Hitler Youth Movement, and it still continues to depress me with its uncanny ability to firebomb the defenselessly naïve or defensively deceased — and with its uncanny ability to be on the network EVERY TIME I TRY TO TUNE IN TO WATCH ONE OF THEM GALLAGHER SPECIALS! The formula for the show is "Mean-Certified©," borrowing from classic rules of Reagan-era comedy (i.e. nothing is funnier than homosexuality, inbreeding, hookers, and washed-up celebrity). Except perhaps stupid people. Each news-remote usually involves some comedy writer who didn't make the Harvard Lampoon cut, posing as a "correspondent," doing a "story" about "feces sculptors" in a rural Midwestern or Southern town, all the while coyly winking at the camera to indicate how stupid "we all" think the interviewees are, and how much luckier we are to be smarter and better dressed. Sitting through the Daily Show is a torture akin to witnessing the brutal taunting of a crippled infant — and discovering you left your pointed stick at home.
So darn mean.
Todd Levin writes a monthly column for www.smug.com, and occasionally writes for TRIPOD. His new credo is "How's My Writing?: Dial 1-800-EAT SH@T."
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