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by LAUREL DRULEY
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ALSO BY LAUREL DRULEY
Web Filter: "Advice to the Jobless"
Laurel breaks down the options open to those caught between-jobs.
Web Filter: "Funkin' Groovin'"
Laurel's addicted to cardio-funk, and she's not alone.
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I recently received a public service e-mail that warned of the growing menace of kidney theft. I immediately forwarded it to friends, family and co-workers, thinking they'd appreciate my concern for their lousy kidneys. Five minutes later the following subject lines appeared in my "IN" box: "Sucker," "Urban legend fool," and "Not in Kansas anymore, Toto." Others were more generous, offering me great deals on AOL software, wooden nickels, timeshares in Gary, Indiana, and snake oil.
I hate to admit it, but this was not a first. You'd think I would've learned my lesson after sending Kurt Vonnegut's so-called commencement address to everyone I know. That time my sage friends were a bit more sensitive with their comments: "Would Vonnegut really advise the MIT class of '97 to floss and wear sunscreen?" (No, I guess he wouldn't.) "In the future you should write 'rumored' or some sort of disclaimer." I followed up with an apology and a link to the myth's debunking by Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich, who was the true advice-giver. Luckily, I can't be sued for factually incorrect e-mail (not yet anyway) — but I do have a reputation to protect.
I'm slowly learning that the definition of truth is blurred online. The Internet allows myth pushers to exploit gullible new users with junk-mail viruses and legends at great speed and frequency. The senders use people as their method of infecting new systems.
Now every time I read "send this to everyone you know" in an e-mail, I check an archive of legends to see if it's listed. So if you're suspicious of a public service announcement or a great cookie recipe, check it out. Your suspicions may be justified.
That's what I tell my mom, who hasn't figured out she doesn't have to keep the caps lock button down when she sends e-mail. I directed her to a how-to-be-Web-savvy Web site. She replied, "I GOT THIS GREAT DEAL ON SNAKE OIL, HONEY. IT'S ONLY $9.99. WHAT DO YOU SAY?"
Laurel Druley is well aware that "gullible" is not in the dictionary, thank you very much.
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