After the Fall
by Suzanne Somers
Crown, US $23 Hardcover


Cost/page:

7.19 cents.

In a word:

Starstruck.

Big break:

1973 role as the "T-Bird fantasy blonde" in American Graffiti.

Overcoming adversity:

• Somers' alcoholic father often abuses Somers, her mother and her siblings.
• At the height of Three's Company, is 'outed' by a tabloid for a decade-old check-kiting rap.
• On launching her career as a nightclub performer: "I would have liked to have had John [Ritter] or Joyce [Dewitt] on my special, but seeing as how they hadn't... sent the customary flowers or telegrams, I realized they either didn't know about opening-night rituals or they weren't terribly supportive of my outside career."

Tainted love (bad marriages, etc.):

• Age 18 and pregnant in 1964, she marries boyfriend Bruce Somers; they divorce in 1967.
• In her second marriage, Somers and husband Alan Hamel each have had difficulty accepting the other's children: "The children of divorce are the biggest losers."

Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll (incidents pertaining to):

• As a young divorced mother, carries on a lengthy affair with the then-married Hamel, "Canada's Chevy Chase."
• A coked-out Flip Wilson fails to materialize for the taping of Somers' first TV special.
• In 1987 Somers' family appears on The Phil Donahue Show; she later forms the Suzanne Somers Insitute on Addictions in Families.

Divine inspiration:

"I felt like Mary Magdalene, the biblical figure to whom I most related. She was a sinner who was so bad she washed Christ's feet with her tears and dried them with her hair to show her reverence... figuratively, I wanted to wash my feet with my tears to show my gratitude."

Oddities:

• As in her 1987 autobiography Keeping Secrets, Somers claims that her 1964 conception was "immaculate." She states that at the time she became pregnant with a son that she was "still technically a virgin."
• While being fired by her, Somers' agent Jay Bernstein brandishes a sword.
• Ostracized but still under contract during the 1980 Three's Company season, Somers is literally banished to a back-lot set. Removed from both co-stars and the TV audience, her alter ego Chrissy Snow — who had "gone to live with a sick aunt" — tapes a one-minute, weekly "phone call" to co-characters Jack and Janet.
• Has reconciled her estrangement from former co-star John Ritter; has not to date been in contact with Joyce DeWitt.
• Closes her nightclub act with standing-ovation generator, "God Bless America."

Cameo appearances (by other famous persons):

• Johnny Carson, who frequently asks aspiring-actress/poet Somers to come on The Tonight Show — well before Three's Company.
• Norman "Mr. Roper" Fell: "I'm sick of having to listen to her talk about how damn successful she is."
• Drummer Buddy Rich: "You can't [tapdance] worth shit."

Manifesto for living/advice to fans:

"Where you come from is not where you have to stay. It's our only life right now. Make it the best. Be the best. Live your dreams and know yourself. Be happy."

Intro | Suzanne Somers | Peter Fonda | Delta Burke
Christopher Reeve | Walter Koenig | Marilyn Manson