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Funkin' Groovin'
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Kneeling on the floor, hands clasped above her head, Margie rotates her pelvis clockwise, then counterclockwise, as she yells, "more hip... deeper!" Out of context, this may seem like an audition at some exotic dance joint. It's actually just my aerobics instructor demonstrating one of our new cardio-funk moves. After trying high-impact step aerobics, spinning, power walking, and kick boxing, cardio-funk — a cardiovascular work-out that combines hip hop street moves with samba and modern dance — is the first class I actually crave. I have an addiction. I am a cardio-funk fiend, and I am not alone.
Like other exercise fads (did I mention spinning?) cardio-funk involves what's called a "mind-body connection," or "self-motivated visualization" — basically, a fantasy. Instead of riding your stationary bike through waterfalls like you do in spinning, you're a sexy MTV dancer in a Salt 'n' Pepa video. Or a Samba dancer in a slinky costume. Or you're Jennifer Beals in Flashdance — you're a star. Margie tells us to visualize a gorgeous Brazilian dance partner as we gyrate to Prince.
Unlike the other exercise classes, cardio-funk requires a taste for exhibitionism. Often I'll look in the mirror and catch another woman snarling or puckering and shaking her hips. These are women who've danced around their room (lights on, shades up) with a hairbrush microphone, lip-synching to Luscious Jackson. I am one of these women.
Cardio-funk is nothing new; it started in the late '80s, when women no longer aspired to be Jane Fonda. It has survived all the exercise crazes because it appeals to a wide audience, it requires no equipment, and it inspires a feeling of accomplishment. Oh, and because it grooves. From veteran aerobicizers in their coordinated leotards to young, streetwise video vixens in hot pants and knee pads, my class consists of about thirty loyal women (and an occasional gawking man) who look forward to their four hours a week getting down to the likes of George Clinton, Busta Rhymes, and Sly and the Family Stone.
Back ball change! Roger! Kick it! Double time! If you're sick of your regular routine or need a work-out that's easier on your knees, I recommend cardio-funk. And be sure to check reality at the door.
Laurel Druley is a former writer for the MoJoWire. When lip-synching into her hairbrush, she prefers Aretha Franklin's Greatest Hits, the first CD.
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