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Diary of a Discontent:
Job Hunting While on the Job
by Koppel |
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As a discontented working stiff, I fight
the corporate power by hunting for my next job on company time. And I morally justify my transgressions: My boss has become increasingly sadistic, my workloads increasingly unreasonable, and no one complains about how I do my job. What I can't justify is the perverse thrill I get from every stolen long distance phone call and every résumé that passes undetected through the fax machine.
| "If you have an interview scheduled during a workday, dress up the entire preceding week." |
Everyone knows that job hunting is a dehumanizing ordeal. It demands
aggression, consistency, and is a full-time job in itself. So why
torture yourself with two jobs?
The fact that you are employed makes you a more enticing
candidate to potential employers, putting you in a better
negotiating position. And knowing that you have a job to fall
back on lessens the sting from inevitable rejection. "If you're an ambitious person, you're
always job hunting within your current organization and elsewhere," says career guru Bruce Tulgan. "Success-oriented people in every job are
constantly doing a job search."
The trick to pulling it off is to create patterns of behavior that can
easily encompass job hunting tasks. In other words, work it into your
routine.
Arrive early, stay late.
Chances are, you'll only be able to make uninterrupted calls from your
office early and late in the day. Lucky for you, these are the same times
that you're most likely to catch the decision makers at other companies!
Give employers the number for your home voice mail so you won't have to
worry about taking their calls at inopportune desk-bound moments.
Then neurotically check your voice mail dozens of times per day and find moments to steal away from prying ears to return calls.
Take lunch.
I used to make job calls on my lunch hour from a pay phone. No one ever caught me, but it was hard to drown out the sounds of trucks going by on the highway. Try the cell phone route and make power calls from a restaurant's lunch-table or while walking down the street. The mere fact that you are calling from a cell phone might actually boost your confidence since you will look prosperous and in-demand.
Multi-task.
Acquire an anonymous Web-based e-mail account and scan job sites, research employers, e-mail resumes, and perfect your cover letters. You'll get good at multi-tasking and quickly covering up the
evidence (good skills to have in today's economy, anyway). If you have an
interview scheduled during a workday, dress up the entire preceding week so you won't create suspicion by suddenly showing up in your best suit.
Create distractions.
Volunteer to work on projects that will require absences from your desk. Run errands for your office-mates, attend industry conferences and training seminars. If you slip in as many interviews as possible during these hours away from the office, you won't use up precious vacation and sick days for job hunting. The more you appear to excel at your job, the less reason your boss will have to keep track of your activities. If you start the morning with a dazzling progress report, your boss may leave you alone all day!
Exploit your resources.
Borrow the company laptop on weekends. Pick the brains of clients and co-workers for gossip about other companies. You need not let on that you are job hunting to get leads from them. Just tell them you are writing a report researching "the competition."
Exercise discretion.
It's worth keeping your job search a secret so you don't become a lame duck or risk getting passed over for the raise or promotion that will keep you there in the first place. But giving off subtle vibes of discontent to the right people can yield surprising results. I once complained to a VP in our company that I was working so hard I felt like I was coming down with the flu. She felt so sorry for me that she offered me a job in her (more benevolent) department.
I'll admit it — in moments of reckless desperation I've hoped my boss would
catch me job hunting. I fantasized this would be the cry for help
that would cause her to mend her evil ways.
But now I realize how much more gratifying it will be to shock her with the news of the enticing offer that has lured me away from her clutches. The next time she marches into my office at 6 p.m. telling me it's time to pull another all-nighter, I'll barely be able to suppress my devilish grin knowing that the job offer of my dreams is waiting on my voice mail.
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Koppel is a pseudonym for someone who hopes no past, current, or future employers ever find this article.
© 1998 Tripod, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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