FINDING THE DREAM DATE YARD SALE by Al Hoff Published June 9, 1997 other columns by Al Hoff	Doing yard sales is like randomly dating the first twenty people who pass you on the street. Will he be a dream date or a dud? Be prepared to kiss some frogs. Sadly there are a lot of yard sales out there not worth your time. Flea markets and big thrift stores have a better time-spent-to-scores-found ratio (large areas with scads of diverse items), but a yard sale is a blind date between you and one household's leftovers. Now that warmer weather is here, the lifestyle section of the local fishwrap will be running the obligatory perky guide to shopping yard/garage/tag sales. They'll belabor the obvious: Look for ads in Friday's paper and plot a Saturday morning route, arrive early. Bring coins, small bills, and carrying bags — there's treasures to be unearthed! Sure, but what about avoiding those yard sales that aren't your type? Check the Paperwork Begin weeding out the bad dates when the telephone pole fliers go up. Too much emphasis on listing antiques or Barney cast-offs can tip off a worthless sale. Be wary of signs that advertise "collectibles." The word is vague — does it mean Depression-era glassware, Hummel figurines, or "Happy Days" board games? Regardless, the word always means an awareness of perceived extra value and consequently higher prices. Consider the words "multi-family" skeptically. Frankly, the word "multi" can mean as dinky as two students emptying out their studio apartments. Often, "multi-family" is a group of friends (with shared tastes) and it's just a bigger clump of the same rot. Look for events like street or block sales where many diverse households are represented. The words "moving sale" can be encouraging. In theory, those picking up and leaving have more incentive to make deals (get rid of stuff at any price!) than a weekender who's hoping to profit from cleaning out the garage.
Don't waste critical minutes picking through obviously grim merchandise.	Check the Time Being first on the scene can pay off, but be prepared to battle through frightening clusters of eager and bloodthirsty "early birds." Responding to chirpy inanities before your second cup of coffee has even kicked in can be rough. Older women rule yard sales. They travel in packs, distract the sellers with chit-chat, and take ages to sort through boxes. Worse, they're the most likely to present you with a hideous pantsuit and suggest loudly that it's "perfect for you!" Politely negotiating through these situations eats up valuable shopping time. When on a full-out multiple-yard sale assault, don't waste critical minutes picking through obviously grim merchandise — those dismal piles of shabby clothing, legless Power Rangers, greasy appliances, and movies-taped-off-the-TV videocassettes. Don't dawdle out of politeness. This is one date you can dump at the curb. Check Your Money As collectible mania sweeps from coast to coast, into the rattiest thrifts and farthest-flung fleas, the yard sale is still the final frontier for shockingly low prices on highly desired merchandise. Mr. and Mrs. Neighbor don't know squat about the new Cocktail Nation and those Esquivel records are 50 cents apiece. Blarney if you're good at it. "What a lovely yard/good dog/cute coal-miner garden gnome!" can shave a buck or two off the final tally. But, for every box of 25-cent lurid guns-and-dames pulp paperbacks, you're just as likely to encounter ridiculous pricing. A yard sale is not a retro store. Reserve the right to snort loudly and walk away when a seller explains the "cultural significance" or "East Coast value" of a $20 cocktail shaker. Sellers blinded by personal nostalgia may justify the exorbitantly high price of an item by sighing, "I bought that dress in Paris during my junior year abroad." So? Do not pay extra for other people's memories.
At the end of the day, sellers are often happy to take a quarter for anything.	Check Back Later Sleep in and avoid some of the above problems by shopping later in the day. True, there's less available merchandise, but the blue-haired pack of early birds have returned home with their worms, the silly pricing has dropped as "precious memories" sit unsold — and sellers, bored with the venture, are happy to take a quarter for anything. Check It Out All reason and analysis aside, the best thing can be found at the worst sale — you'll never know unless you stop and look. Shop early, shop late, shop as wisely as you can — but do shop on. Only time and effort will lead you to the dream-date yard sale. Al "Girl Reporter" Hoff is the editor and publisher of Thrift SCORE!, the preeminent thrifting zine in the world. She lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in a house full of amazing junk. © 1997 Al Hoff, all rights reserved.