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You asked, Evel answered. Got a question of your own? Fire away! Meantime, don't miss our legally required disclaimer!
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| Dear Evel, I'm planning on taking a leave from my job to attend professional umpire school. My fiancé is 100 percent behind me, but everyone else thinks I'm crazy. I'm 43, and this has always been a dream for me. What do you think? |
| If you have a lot of experience at your present job, you can always adjust and find another one. I suggest that you follow your dreams now. |
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| Evel, how can I get my town to build a skate park? |
| The future will provide skate parks in almost every major city, and most small ones, because of the interest of those who want to participate. I suggest you get a petition and get some help from a local politician who will support you. Good luck! |
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| I am currently involved with a gentleman who is a single parent like me, but who lives in a different state, about four hours away. He is a good man, father and friend, but my problem is that he likes to tell me about all the girls that flirt with him, and about how he flirts back. I know that jealousy can be good, but I really don't like this feeling. My question to you is: What is the key to a long distance relationship — how do you keep it going and going? |
| Tell him that you don't like to hear about the girls he's flirting with. If it does not stop, tell him about all the men who flirt with you — even if you have to make it up! He'll get the point. |
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| Oh Evel one: Do chicks really dig scars? |
| I don't know, you'll have to ask the chicks I've been with. I've gotten no complaints! |
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| Dear Evel, there's this guy in my class and he always pinches me and my best friend, and it hurts. He also punches us and calls us names because we're the weakest in the class. I want to speak up for my and my friend's rights. Should I and if yes, what should I say? |
| Take him aside and tell him that you want to be his friend — and others do also, but tell him he's hurting you, and he's got to stop it — now! |
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| Dear Evel, I work for a talentless liar who has made it up the corporate ladder because of a lot of ass-kissing. A lot of my most respected colleagues have left because of this. What should I do? |
| If you like your job, stay there — and remember: Mother nature and truth wound all heels. Your boss will not win. |
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| How do you feel about the cheetah being close to extinction? Don't you think they would make much better race animals than greyhounds or horses? Ever see one run? |
| Cheetahs are hard to train, much harder than dogs or horses. I've seen them run, but never trained to perform on a racetrack. |
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| I have this friend who got a pistol license. But now he likes to carry his gun everywhere, under his shirt. I don't even know if this is legal, and even if it is, it seems kinda crazy. how can I let him know that I'm not comfortable with this? He brings it to the mall, to the movies — and we're not talking bad neighborhoods here... |
| Tell your friend to keep his gun hidden in the car. It will make you feel more comfortable, and it'll give him a chance to think before he makes a mistake and kills someone, or he may end up in the penitentiary for the rest of his life. |
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Please note: Tripod, like most citizens of the Spaceship Earth, is in awe of Evel Knievel, his life, and his hard-earned position in American culture. However, neither Tripod nor its parent company, Lycos, Inc., necessarily share, espouse, or agree with the viewpoints expressed by Mr. Knievel, or any other Tripod columnist. (While we're at it, and to be perfectly candid, we are also fairly certain we don't agree with most of the viewpoints expressed by our high school teachers, parents, parole officers, therapists, and career bureaucrats employed by the United Nations.)
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