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For those of you who are starting to think my life is just a big whirl of gambling, guns, and going out after dark, I'm here to tell you that nothing much has happened to me since Christmas. I've just been going to school, listening to music in my room, and watching "Dawson's Creek," like anyone else. That's why I thought I'd take this opportunity to answer some letters. As I've said before, I really do wish I could write back to everyone personally, but there's just no way. Besides, Dan, my editor at Tripod, says it's probably not a good idea. I do like reading your stories, though, and especially your feedback on my writing, so please keep sending me e-mail.
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By
Tyler Valdez
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One last thing: Dan and I have edited these letters for length, and to protect the privacy of those people who really spilled their guts.
Claudius writes:
Wow, it's hard to believe you are really 16 (probably going on 17 by now). Not because your writing is complicated or anything but because it is so clear and natural. Maybe it's because you haven't been 'influenced' enough to be tainted by other people's crap. Please keep it up, I feel you have the true soul of a writer.
[I edited out some stuff here about how Claudius worked at Red Lobster like me, and about how he thought my gun story was interesting.]
Re: Tyler two and the 40k jobs. This issue struck me deep. You know what, I'm one of those guys, mostly, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up ;-). I went to a phat school for the sole purpose of getting a good job easily upon graduation. You know what? That's real. That's what pays the bills. The starving artist/actor/writer/musician thing held no appeal for me. Especially after being out of school for two years while I moved out and was trying to live "real life" on just Red Lobster tips. Now, I just graduated and I'm gonna pull about 60k this year. I got a chunky signing bonus (no trip though) and I'm not ashamed. I'm gonna make more this year than my single mom even though she's been working for 40 years. I find it kinda comical actually. I don't know sh*t, I'm just taking advantage of the situation, playing the game if you will. So what's wrong with that? Don't you think most of "us" sense the irony? My school probably churns out 400 22-year-old consultants a year. What do they know? Who are they to consult anyone on anything? I think/hope/feel I'm different because I was actually a Sociology major. Everyone's favorite question: "What are you going to do with that?" Or more precisely, how are you gonna cash in as a Soc. major? I'll tell you how. Get a job with my Math double-major and CompSci experience. My Soc. major could have just as easily been Music/Art/English, do you see my point? In order to win the game you have to play by the rules until you win and can change the rules, that's the solution. Sitting on the sidelines bitching that the game sucks or isn't fair doesn't get you anything but just that, a seat on the sidelines.
Re: Just Say No. I think you've got the right idea. I smoke a ton of endo and I love it. I don't respect anyone who simply dismisses drugs out of hand.
[I had to cut a bunch more stuff here about Claudius smoking endo, and about the column I did about what happened with me and Jimmy.]
Tyler replies:
Yo, Claudius. (Get it?) Thanks for writing such a long letter, and really diving into all my columns. In fact, your letter (before we edited it) was longer than any of my columns — I hope reading it was as enjoyable for other people as it was for me.
Claudius, it sounds like you've had a really interesting life so far. As someone who works at a Red Lobster, like you used to, and hopes to graduate from a "phat" college some day, like you did, I've got to give you your due props. But I disagree with your attitude towards "real life." So you're making more than your mother, you're smoking a lot of endo, and you think that your job as a computer programmer or whatever is going to allow you to "change the rules." It sounds like you've seen one too many Nike ads on TV. If you spend your life doing something you know is a waste of your time, it doesn't matter how much money you're getting, does it? At least that's how I feel. I guess being a Sociology major helps you feel ironic about how you're spending your days, somehow, but it sounds to me like your letter is a cry for help, and that you really want someone to tell you to shape up. OK, here goes: Shape Up.
Avik writes:
Hi Tyler — I know you don't know me but I just read tyler seven and just have to write a word to you admiring you for your honesty. I myself am a 21-yr. old guy (soon turning 22) and ... even though you're almost 6 years younger than me as I was reading your column I was seeing the same dilemmas I face even as a 22-yr. old guy — oh, I forgot to mention that I'm still a virgin — but as I read your column it just brought your words to life in my personal perspective.
See, I myself am an Intn'l student here from another country — and as a result when I came to the U.S. 3 years ago to do my Bachelor's degree I was a bit confused — happens to almost any foreigners whether they come to U.S. or Americans go abroad — it's called culture shock. And as an Asian (I'm from India) being accustomed to more conservative views I wasn't prepared for the liberal sexual environment in colleges — and that's when I got a bit stymied for a while. But then I came to accept (thanks to my freshman & sophomore year roomies — both of whom were Americans who quite often brought their girlfriends for a night) that there's nothing wrong with sex. I know as a teenager I had a lot of guilt feelings about sex but now I've come to accept it as something normal and healthy besides being fun. I just wanted to say that it was very gutsy of you to write what you wrote but at the same time wanted to say you shouldn't even feel the slightest flinch of guilt about it — as long as you know the guy you were with really cares about you.
Anyway, my point in all this was nothing but just to trust your heart — and if this weird email from a complete stranger offends you I apologize.
Tyler replies:
Avik, I don't think you're weird at all, I think you sound sweet. You're going to make someone a really good boyfriend, and I wish there more guys like you in the United States.
Big Mike writes:
Hey Tyler! I just read your article on guns in school and had a couple of things to say.
First, I'm glad you tried to figure it out. Next time though don't put your future on the line like that. A weapons conviction will haunt you well into the future. I admire your dedication to getting the whole story though.
Second, you can never know why people carry guns to school until it's a must. I carried a gun to school for years. Why? Because I lived in a neighborhood where you had to be prepared to get shot at any second. I never thought when I was twelve I would be carrying a gun at thirteen. It started my second week of eighth grade. I came to school one morning and was told that the Gym was off limits. I later found out that a friend had been shot while playing basketball before school. Well, this fell over to the streets and there were fights and all kinds of things happening. We come to find out the shooting occurred because the two kids' brothers were in different gangs. Well I started getting a little scared because I was an unofficial member of one of the crews. Next thing I know there is a gang war going on and I get shot in the back twice by a kid that was only eleven. So I start packin' steel everywhere I go. Not too long after I start carrying, another kid was shot right after school at the high school around the corner. Soon word got out that I was a target and I wasn't safe anywhere. I was scared to the point I couldn't sleep and I could barely eat. I was scared so bad I feared death every step I took. So I started to strap even at school. Not to shoot anybody that bumped me. I done it in case anybody started getting rowdy and reachin' like they had something. It became a habit that I didn't break for a long time and it all paid off the last day of my second year in high school. I was walking through the student lot to get to the busses when two guys approached me yelling at me. I saw one reach behind his back and out of instinct I used my weapon. I know you probably think I'm just some gang-banger trash wanting to justify his actions. I'm not though I'm the first to admit shooting another person is wrong. I wanted to show that sometimes it's a true fear and the human survival instinct that causes things. Since those days I have got away from those people and that neighborhood. I have also completely changed my life since then. I now have a better life and a brighter future than I imagined I could, but sometimes I know it's only because I had that gun that day. So don't try to judge all the cases by your experience.
I have one last thing to say. Please don't look down on members of gangs as a lost cause or as the underbelly of society. A lot of people do it because it seems to be the only way to survive. Would you rather face thirty people by yourself or with thirty people that represent family and protection by your side????? That is the decision young kids face every day.
Tyler replies:
Big Mike, I don't think you're trash at all! Your letter made me cry, thinking about friends of mine who aren't as smart as you, and haven't been able to get themselves out of bad situations like you did. By bad situations, I don't mean that time when you got jumped in the student lot, but the way you've pulled your life together and can write about it so directly. I hope you take time out from your bright future to tell people who are younger than you about your experiences. Thanks for writing!
Chris writes:
Word is "born"? Okay, perhaps you meant "word is bond". Don't get me wrong, I'm not "from the street" or "the hood," but I do know that much at least. I noticed that your archives are riddled with such discrepancies. I would love to tell you how good of a job you're doing, but I just can't. I don't expect a reply because you are ever so popular "recieving 30+ messages a day." This was the first time and the last time I will be visiting your page. I am open for replies if you could ever "find the time."
Tyler replies:
Chris, hello? It's called a typo. I actually wrote "word is bon," which is how we say it here in "the hood." If you think my columns are "riddled with discrepancies," you should see my homework. From your snotty e-mail, I guess you're under the impression that I think I'm all that. Well, let me tell you something, Mr. "Word Is Bond": I am all that. As you can see, I've "found the time" to respond to your nasty note, but from what you write I guess you'll never see it. By the way, Grammar Man, "receiving": I before E, except after C.
I'm not done —>
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