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Open Letter to the
Mother-to-Be
by Bunny Fisher
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Because no matter how similar every pregnancy, birth, and baby is — sperm-meets-egg, fetus grows, labor hurts, child spills forth all slimy — I assure you that your experiences as a mother with your baby are going to be incredibly, entirely unique. It's gonna be like you just gave birth to
the first baby ever. It's gonna be wild. And scary. And exciting. And it's
going to induce tears of joy and sorrow and tears you have no idea where
the hell they came from, they'll just sometimes pour down your cheeks
while you watch that little child sleep. |
You have a gut; use it
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And so, I repeat: Don't take anyone's advice. Because people are going to tell you stuff that scares you and worries you and frankly, you have enough
on your mind already. I think the worst of these people are the ones who
approach you, when you are clearly about to go into labor, and say, "Let me
tell you my birthing story." Tell them thanks but no thanks. Tell
them shut up. Because either they had the worst birth or the easiest and
really, it is highly doubtful that your birth will fall into either of
these categories.
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They will also advise you on good names vs. bad, cloth diapers vs.
paper, circumcision vs. non, which genetic tests are imperative, midwives
vs. ob/gyns, hair bows vs. sun bonnets, breast milk vs. formula. Screw
'em. You have a gut; use it. Decide for yourself. |
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On the other hand, remember that your gut can only get you so far. There is this amazing myth in our society that just because a gal can find herself in a family way that she has all sorts of innate skills. Like how
to change a diaper, how to hook the screaming suckling newborn to the
swollen nipple for the first time, how to bathe the floppy-headed infant
without drowning it. I realized how clueless I was as I stood in a hospital and watched a barely post-pubescent and child-free RN deftly give my wee one the once-over: powder, lotion, fresh nappy, sponge bath. How the hell did she learn that? I'll tell you: She paid a ton of money in nursing school. NEXT |
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