My favorite teenager in the world invited me over to see her first apartment that didn't come with a previously installed parent. What to get the girl who doesn't quite have everything as a housewarming gift? I spent an obscene amount of time in our local Urban Outfitters pondering that very question, when something familiar caught my
eye. I had purchased my own copy of "The Modern Woman's Guide to Life" years ago in another Urban Outfitters, vowing all the while that I'd never shop there again until they started stocking anything in a size 12 or above.
This copy was all shiny and new, unlike my own manhandled copy at home, but the subtitle still jumped out at me: "Advice and Information About Everything." Now what modern woman of the '90s doesn't need that? At first it seems like just another kitschy coffee table book, but clocking in at 450 pages, I felt there had to be something to it. And boy, if the editors didn't quite cover everything, it's not for lack of trying.
written for "the busy gender," the "Guide" dishes out sharp, witty and well-written advice about literally thousands of life skills the average gal might face, including how to: care for the terminally ill loved one, reason with a cat, tell a child s/he's adopted, justify a manicure, leave a lover, repair a toilet, flirt, camouflage wide hips, fix a broken water heater, write a will, ask for a raise, get through a gyn exam, and tip when traveling abroad. I'm certain that solving the world hunger crisis didn't make the cut due to space reasons alone.
Edited by three women, the book's actual authors number in the hundreds. It's full of anecdotes and sometimes conflicting opinions from women all over the world who've "been there, done that" — and Women's Zoneote the book's editors so they could share it with you.
FYI: This book's companion volume, "The Modern Man's Guide to Life," available from the same publisher, was written after some modern men went out to buy tropical fish for an apartment aquarium and couldn't find any guys to give them good advice on the subject. Go figure.
"Once, women like us were educated by mothers, grandmothers, aunts, older sisters and other assorted females on how to do practically everything — and how to look swell while doing it. No more — and more's the pity. After all, what does grandma know about hiring and firing office help? But somebody out there knows. And they told us. And sister, we're telling you."
(p. ix)
"Poker is traditionally a man's game, which is probably why so many women are good at it. Men don't expect women to know how to fold, raise and call. And they never expect a woman to bluff.
Know your hand: If you're going to play poker with the boys, memorize the order of the hands. Never ask whether one hand will beat another; you will be revealing information about your hand.
Know the rules: Poker comes in two sizes, one with five cards and one with seven cards. Beyond that, there are two basic versions of the game — draw and stud poker. There are no wild cards in poker.
Draw poker: Draw is a five-card game in which each player receives five cards face down. There is a betting round, then a draw round, in which up to three (or four, depending on house rules) cards may be used to replace cards in your hand. Another betting round follows.
Stud poker: Stud requires some cards to be dealt faceup and others facedown. In five-card stud, the first card is dealt down and all others are dealt faceup. There is a betting round after the first two cards, and after each subsequent card is dealt. High card showing bets first. In seven-card stud, the classic stud game, the first two cards and the last card are dealt down. Betting rounds follow the dealing of the first three cards and after each subsequent card. High card showing bets first. The best five cards constitute the hand."
(p. 412)
With so many topics to cover, this book still manages to be surprisingly thoughtful, thorough, and unhurried. Recently one roommate decided to flush while another roommate was in the shower. Only a quick flip to the Guide's plumbing section gave me the tip I needed to prevent us all from having to tread water. I also love how broad their definition of what the modern woman's needs are — as a childless twenty six year old, the segment on Modern Grandwomen doesn't grab me — yet — the way the computer pages do. ("Computers are like babies. Everybody thinks they should get one before its too late.") Still, it's the most relevant
reference book I've ever read. You know how some of the best advice you've
ever gotten was heard through your local branch of the grapevine? Well, I
got your grapevine right here and it'll only cost you $18 plus tax.
Order The Modern Woman's Guide to Life from amazon.com. (They also have The Modern Man's Guide to Life in stock.)
