This week: What is that thing you do?

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's beating a dead metaphor. I've hung out on the Information Superhighway, I've hitchhiked, broken down, got lost, got stuck in traffic, been pulled over -- but none of this has much to do with the time I spend online. If we're not speeding down the Information Superhighway, then what exactly is it that we're doing? Are we in a library? A church? A five and dime? K-mart? What is your metaphor for the Internet?

Here's what Tripod members had to say:

CCRrulz: I think that we're all deer trapped in the wrath of the headlights.

Jaime_van_Schyndel: The internet is like a bicycle. You get on, you fall off, you get it right and have fun.

Fued: Information Superhighway?, I think not. It's more like a viaduct...lots of junk and muck flowing through pipes, unevenly distributed in a smooth-flowing useful base.

DaveB: It's a lot like a huge thrift store -- lots of stuff, poorly organized, you can spend hours looking around and then discover a real gem of a find that you never expected.

nowimacj: It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure Book: You choose your own path in search of your goal, sometimes you find it, sometimes you don't.

formicacid: Understand what it really is and then you won't need metaphors.

pstorm: Surfing the net is like sitting in the midst of an info-wave searching for gold nuggets.

hcm: 'twas a pristine stream ... but then they let more people use it, and now it's starting to fill up with chunky stuff.

rjnerd: It is a fine old style library (the kind that existed before they discovered cataloging) that has been through an earthquake, and all the books are in a heap. Or perhaps the home of those human pack rats, that after their deaths (from a stack of stuff falling on them) have filled their 14 room house and barn with "wonders" stacked to the ceilings, and a narrow path between the 3 rooms not packed impenetrably.

Americans expect that the library knows what it contains, but this is a fairly recent development. Go to a big library that has been around for 5 centuries, and you will discover that the staff is comfortable with the idea that there are things on the back shelves that hold suprises, and that it is the job of the resident scholars to go on a "dig" and uncover some of the unknown treasures...

gpaci: You'll never find a single metaphor that will describe all the ways you can (or even do, for that matter) approach the Web.

Having said that, the metaphor that pops to my mind when I'm using a search engine (e.g. AltaVista) is that the Web is a huge sea of information, and I'm casting a net through the whole thing and sorting out the stuff that flops around on deck. Modifying my query to catch more or fewer items is akin to changing the size of the holes in the net.

Incidentally, "Information Superhighway" is the single least-apt metaphor I've ever heard. The only thing the Internet and the Interstate system have in common is that both of them took lots of government money to build.

jlloyd: I have the new metaphor! GIN: Global Information Network. What do you think??

R_E_Lee: Pipeline. Sewerline Teton

mccarthyj: It should be called the "Information Wonderland" because I wonder:
1) How some of this stuff gets on here.
2) Why some of this stuff exists.
3) Why it seems impossible at times to find what I'm looking for.
4) What would I do without it?

Margot: The Web is a digital forest. Plant a tree.

luzalma: I'm still such a neophyte at this -- still amazed at what I bring up. Often I feel like one of those cave explorers with a little light on my hat as I peer ahead into sometimes eerie, sometimes murky, sometimes incredibly clear water. As I proceed I can't help hope that the cord connecting me to the entrance remains attached -- and at times I want to reach out and stretch the confining area I have to work in, and perhaps look around the corner.

Amazon: Hotel California: You can check out anytime you'd like, but you can never leave!

Synchro: I suggest "CyberPharm." I'm happily hooked, and never watch television any more.

RalphWaldo: The internet is like a vast conglomeration of libraries. You enter in one building, and walk through any corridor into almost any other connected to it.

sawbuck: The "World Wide WAIT" has become an extension of cable television, a whole lot of Fluff with no substance. This is a "looking Glass" of our culture. Pretty pathetic......

NewYorker: The Internet to me is like an ocean.

DrAushaus: I would have to say The Internet is metaphorically similar to the human digestive system. As input we have some items that are tasty, or fattening, or poisonous, or junk food or expensive or healthy etc. Then through the intestinal pipeline it flows, as different areas draw out the proteins, minerals and vitamins as needed. But what remains, is unfortumately rather clogging, and frankly, stinky. Luckily, the human body developed a solution and implemented it, by creating an "exit portal" So what I'm saying is, the Internet would be just fine if someone could just build it a butthole. So what do you call the metaphor? Intercolon? IBM?(Informational Bowel Movement) The possibilities are endless.

rossetti: Information Superhighway should be "Omni-directional Info-Mirror," or "On-line Infopository," or "The Level Playing Field," or "Infinite Infoline," or "Infocloud," or "T-INFO."

mrmichaelb: Actually my girlfriend came up with an interesting metaphor. One day she asked me to "pull it up on the dot com" as opposed to finding it on the net.

Richard23: My metaphor is very simply "Farting about on the Internet." I do nothing special, I do not book tickets etc etc etc like Microsoft seems to think I would, nor am I on the cutting edge. I simply fart about, looking at interesting things and meeting nice people. And taking the mick out of AOLer's.

Selyf: CyberSpam - like the famous spam on your sandwich the internet is made from a conglomereration of stuff. Or perhaps CyberGov where you need to separate the "information" from the "disinformation".

Lady_Cassandra: The internet is like one huge freeway! When you finally do get off of it you can go to many neat areas as well as trashy areas. Some places there are traffic jams and in others you just speed along. There is no speed limit! If you are in the mood you can visit your neighbors' homes, or if you just want to work on your own homefront you can! Best thing is that on the Net you don't have to pay outrageous fees for your home :)

decmold: EDUSHOPPING (educated or educational shopping)

dcline: The Web is the answer to all that ails you!

LindaE: I sort of liken it to a Cyber Flea Market: you can find something brand new and fresh, something old and worn, and a lot of stuff not worth having.

AlMiller: It's like a box of chocolates...about the size of the MGM Grand.