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PsychoticBreath: Bob Dole. (Now there's a joke.) PsychoticBreath: The young cowboy had heard the tales about the wise old Indian who sat out on a rock in the middle of the desert, so finally he had to see for himself. He went out to see the wise old man, who was said to know everything. The cowboy had the perfect test: "Tell me, old grandfather, what did I have for breakfast three weeks ago next Friday?" "Eggs." Amazingly, the Indian was right. Three weeks ago next Friday was the last day the cowboy had eaten breakfast at all. Many years later, when the young cowboy was an old cowboy, he by chance was passing through the same section of desert. Surely, he figured, the old Indian was dead, but when he came to the rock the Indian was still there. Baffled, he just continued walking, but turned as he passed to greet the old Indian. "How." "Scrambled." Coroin: What's the Difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones? The Stones sang Hey You Get Off Of My Cloud where a Scotsman sings Hey MacCleod, get off of my ewe!! Kimmy: A man is walking down the road carrying a big stick. Another man meets him on the road and asks "Are you a pole vaulter?". The man replies "No, I'm Ukrainian, but how you know my name is Walter?" LesleyS: Q. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice. A> Because it said concentrate!!!!! Baller42 Nursery school teacher says to her class.."Who can use the word Definitely in a sentence?" First little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "sorry, Amy, but the sky can be grey, or orange..." Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown..." Little Abie from the back of the class stands up and says.. "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says..."Abie! Of course not!!!" "Ok, then I DEFINITELY have shit in my pants..." delkon: One day, a man answering an ad for a bellringer in a church goes in to talk to the priest. The priest asks him if he has had any experience and the man says sure, let me show you. The priest and the man walk up to the top of the bell tower. The man gets inside the bell and runs up to the side of the bell and hits it with his head. Bong! Bong! Bong! All of a sudden, the man runs at the wrong time and goes running out of the window and falls to his death. When the priest gets down to the body, his congregation asks who he was. The priest says I don't know but his face sure does ring a bell! ...to be continued... delkon: Part two of the bellringer joke. The brother of the dead bellringer comes to see the priest. Father, he says, I want to ring your church bell a few times in honor of my brother. The priest agrees and they both go up to the top of the belltower. The man rings the bell the exact same way. Bong! Bong! Bong! Then he too goes flying out the window to his death. The priest runs down and his congregation asks him who this man is and the priest says I don't know but he's a dead ringer for his brother! Xatrix: Question:what's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? Answer:so it WAS you! Neatnut: A man and his wife wanted to have a baby so they went to a fertility clinic. The doctor said that he needed a sample and gave the man a bottle to bring back with him the next day. The next day, the couple returned to the doctor and gave the bottle to the doctor. The doctor took one look at the bottle as said "It's empty". The man replied "Well doc, it's kind of like this...First I tried it with my left hand, then I tried it with my right hand...My wife tried it with her left hand, then she tried it with her right hand...she tried it with her teeth in, and she tried it with her teeth out...We poured warm water over it, and even used vice grips...And I'll be durned' if we couldn't get the lid off that bottle. predotor: A man goes to the doctor and says,"Doc, I have a problem with gas. I fart all the time but you can't hear it or smell it." The doctor gives him a prescription and tells him to come back in a week. The next week, he comes back. The doctor asked,"How are you doing?" "Well," the man says, "I can hear them but I still can't smell them." The doctor says,"Good. We've fixed your hearing, now we can work on your sense of smell." Constipated: Indian walks into a psychiatrist's office and says I am teepee I am wigwam I am teepee I am wigwam. The psychiatrist says stop I already know what your problem is your two tents.
anthonius:
Q:how much does a pirate charge for corn?
JRLoe: What did the Mayo say to the Refrigerator?
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