Tripod Home | New | TriTeca | Work/Money | Politics/Community | Living/Travel | Planet T | Daily Scoop
|
alicel: Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
kishoreg: Why is he not a complete fool? Because some parts in his brain are missing. Peterling: Q: What is the #1 requirement for being a Harvester Driver? A: Must know the best kept Harvester secret: Chicks Dig It. Peterling: The I.R.S. Slogan: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." JAKIE: Why did Michael jackson go to Kmart? Because boys pants were half off. mattcorona: did you hear about the blind hooker?.... you gotta hand it to her! cravenfool: What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? Gretzky showers after three periods. lucy42: How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware problem. Aspin: There were 3 blondes who found a genie. He granted each of them a wish. The first wished she was 50% smarter - poof she's a BRUNETTE. The second wished she was 25% smarter - poof she's a REDHEAD. The third wished she was 50% dumber - poof she's a BLOND MAN.
Blom: Aspin: What does a dumb blond use for protection during sex?................A bus shelter. Aspin: The local priest was giving a sermon on the evils of alcohol and to demonstrate his point he had set up a demonstration.There were two glasses on the table and one was filled with water and one with whiskey. Into each the priest placed a worm. The worm in the water swam around while the worm in the whiskey madly contorted, then died. "What my children, does this teach you?" asked the priest. John replied, "Yes Father, this proves that if you drink alcohol you don't get worms." oman: A man knocked on my door the other day and asked if I had any work he could do. I told him to go around back where he would find a bucket of green paint and if he painted my porch for me, I would gladly pay him. About two hours later the man knocked on the front door and said "Well... I'm all done, but that weren't no Porsche, that's a Ferrari!" dcole4: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but the lightbulb has to want to change. juhongkim: what is the difference between a woman with pms and a terrorist....? You can negotiate with the terrorist...
GuitarChic:
How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
Aspin: How does a dumb blond spell farm?............. E-I-E-I-O.
Deviant:
What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
schizogirl:
A duck walks into a hardware store and says to the shopkeeper, "Have you
got any duck food?"
schizogirl:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
schizogirl:
There was a family of potatoes, a father potato, a mother potato and three
daughter potatoes. The daughters grew up and left home. A few years later,
the first daughter came back and said she was getting married. "That's
Great!" her parents said, "To whom?" alkoliq: A bear and a rabbit were taking a shit together in the woods. The bear ask the rabbit, "Hi! do you have problems with shit sticking in your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No why?" So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
amnesiac: Q. What is the last thing to go thru a fly's mind when
it hits a windshield? Stuart Jensen: This man was sitting in the bar watching the NY Jets football game. His neighbor at the bar had a little black and white dog sitting quietly when all of a sudden the NY Jets scored a touchdown. The dog went crazy, ran in circles chasing his tail, yipping and yapping, jumping up and down, then sat down and started to howl. The man turned to his neighbor and asked, "What's wrong with your dog?" "Nothing," answered the dogs owner, "He just happens to be a Jets fan." "Wow", said the man, "If he reacts like that to a touchdown, what does he do when they win?" "I don't know," said the man, "I've only had him for two years."
Bebox: Q. What's the easiest way to start a small business in the U.S. these days? Glenster: Have you heard about those new corduroy bed-pillows? They're making HEADLINES!
JAKIE: Why did the bee have sticky hair?
DebL: CBS reported that a 6 year old boy got suspended from elementary school for apparently kissing a schoolmate on the cheek. armscape: New Jersey has the most toxic waste dumps. California has the most lawyers. Do you know why? New Jersey had the first choice!
Diamonds: Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between
her breasts that a 20 year old doesn't? RadioTom: Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog sitting on the middle of the sidewalk licking his balls. "Gee, I wish I could do that." says one. The other replies, "I think you'd better try just petting him first."
RadioTom: Q: Where do you find a turtle with no legs? freakgirl: Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland. While driving down the freeway they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left". So they turned around and went home.
mblange: Why does it take four women on PMS does it take to screw
in a light bulb?
Tux_Melvin: Q.How Many Ears Does Captain Kirk Have?
andyish: You're so ugly rice crispies won't even talk to you! myadron: The teacher instructed her second graders to come forward as their names were called and be prepared to draw something on the blackboard that had been the cause of excitement in their homes during the previous week. One by one the pupils came forward and sketched such items as report cards, television sets, new clothes, a new baby, and other similar items. When the time came for Emily to comply with the assignment, however, she walked to the board and drew two dots. "What's that?" the puzzled teacher asked. "Well," she said, "the other day you told us those dots are called periods." "That's right," the teacher said. "But what could possibly be exciting about two periods?" "Beats me," Emily said. "But that's how many my sister in high school says she's missed, and they're causing an uproar around our house." produce: Do you know how NASCAR got its name? Two guys were sitting on their porch and a really cool car drives buy. One turns to the other and says "That's a nace car." |
Map | Search | Help | Send Us Comments
