Title: The Rants
Author: Dennis Miller
Year: 1996
Publisher: Doubleday
Price: $21.95 US
Review by: Randy
Williams
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Dennis Miller's critically-acclaimed HBO talk show has won an Emmy award for writing, and one has to assume that the voters were most impressed with the "rants" that the acerbic host delivers near the beginning of each installment. Much more than traditional, rambling monologues full of cheesy one-liners, these are well-thought out comedy sermons on a single theme in which Miller seethes with rage and passion. Love him or hate him, Miller prods you to think and react -- he is fiercely intelligent and takes no prisoners in his assaults on politics and social issues. The best of Miller's rants were recently gathered in this 200 page blast o' bile, in which individual entries have been smartly arranged and ordered to provide comprehensive coverage of each of the comedian's pet subjects. Although it is safe to say that Miller is fairly left-of-center in his political beliefs, he rips into career pols from both sides of the aisle with admirable equanimity. He has a unique gift for seeing beyond the images and through the coded sound-bites of politicians, and he does so with one eye on the Truth and one on the punchline. Those who are familiar with his style from the television show will welcome the opportunity to revisit his singular take on American culture in a format that is freed from his machine-gun spoken delivery. Those encountering Miller's rants for the first time will get their eyes peeled open wide by his thought-provoking and stinging commentary. Of course, that's only my opinion. I could be wrong.
"Why is it that the newly elected Republicans in Congress are so intent on eliminating the National Endowment for the Arts? Well, historically, thumbdicks like these guys shy away from supporting anything that has the word 'endowment' in it. Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but why do we find ourselves locked in this pointless little pas de doo-doo over something called 'arts funding?' The federal tab involved here is a lousy 500 million dollars -- one five-hundredth of 1 percent of the national budget! That's less than what Clinton spends on 1-900 calls from Air Force One. You know, picking on arts funding is easy. Art won't ever find a cure for disease...Art doesn't patrol our streets and protect us from crime. But then again, it doesn't hit us in the head with a friggin' baton sixty-seven times. What art does is educate us, enrich our lives, and reacquaint us with the beauty of human potential. Unfortunately, in the current Attila-like political climes, enrichment of the soul is the lowest form of plankton on the humanistic food chain."
(pp. 42-3)"The conservatives' plan for the next decade is the inverse effect of 'Back to the Future.' It's essentially, 'Ahead to the Past.' Their plan may suck, but at least they have a plan. Liberals are running around like an organically fed, free-range chicken with its head cut off. No wonder they fight so hard for the spotted owl -- they're right behind 'em on the endangered species list. Politicians better come up with something concrete soon, or our future will be darker than George Hamilton reading Sylvia Plath in the basement of a Mott Street opium den...and that of course is pretty dark."
(p. 118)
Miller's rants are probably not for everyone. His writing and his stand-up style are saved from extreme arrogance only by his self-deprecating wit. The sensitive soul will find much here at which to take offense; the author's personal attacks can be lacerating and his sentences are riddled with profanities, which are used as punctuation a la David Mamet or Martin Scorsese. Some readers, too, may wish the book had footnotes so they could catch all of the off-the-wall literary and pop culture references with which Miller peppers his essays. However, the brave and open-minded reader will find this a hilarious and invigorating journey into the black heart of modern society -- from the president to O.J., from political correctness to sexual harassment, from gay rights to parenting, from what the sexes really want from one another to what is right with America. Check your manners at the door and enjoy the ride.N.B. "The Rants" is available on the Web in hardcover from amazon.com.
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