This week: Find Bob a Job

When Bob Dole stepped down as Senate majority leader in June to run for the Presidency, he said in effect, "White House or Bust." Well, as of Tuesday's elections, America's elder statesman is now out of work, and Liddy's salary just won't cut it in these dual-income days. Bob's much too proud to go on the dole, so we turn to you, our readers: Help keep Bob Dole's landlord at bay. Think of a job worthy of a war hero and let us know: What does Dole do now?

Here's what Tripod members said.

olegator: In keeping with the President's call for bi-partisanship, and since the job is coming open, appoint Bob as Secretary of State. No one is better qualified, he has tremendous clout in the Senate & House to sell agreements/treaties, and it will keep him out of the country and limit his involvement in domestic affairs.

paulgowder: Judging by his poor campaign performance, and his giving up after a mere 15 percent of the vote came in, I would suggest bookmaking. This will teach him to grasp the odds of any situation, and also teach him not to give up until at least half of the returns are in. A bookmaker, like a politican, always has to keep track of the returns.

Sairwa: All of America seems to think that Bob Dole is sooo old. If he is as old as the world makes him to be, then why are we trying to come up with a job for him? Why, he should be retired, living it up in some old nursing home.

tmatson: I think good ol' Bob should get a job as a spokesperson for Depends. Or perhaps he would make a good Marlboro man. However, I don't think he would make a good Joe Camel. No matter how addictive, no kid would just say yes. Er -- no, maybe, well, er anyway just don't. Do it. No career as a macarena dancer either. Not like that exhibitionist Al Gore.

aaman: I'm from India, and here we see politicians winning and losing all the time. So I recommend Bob should come India for training under Indian politicians.

Halfjack: He should start a line of fruit bars.

catelyn: I think he could do worse than to be a Republican version of Jimmy Carter. So let him have Elizabeth give him a volunteer job -- or maybe he could join Americorps.

bugtussle: The choice is obvious: "Bob Dole's School for Creative Tumbling" -- he can share with the world his talent for imaginitive platform diving. Heck! It may even become an Olympic sport!

J and T Hirn: Appoint Bob as Secretary of State or maybe even take over David Brinkley's job.

Amaranth01: Seems like Bob expressed some interest in daycare during the election year..... how 'bout it?

JoeyP: I think he should try for one of those open House seats!

smouer: Dole has hinted that he would like to head a bipartisan commission on welfare, Medicare, or campaign finance reform. And Clinton has hinted that he might consider such. Look for more Republicans and conservative dDemocrats heading up Clinton's new administration. Sorry liberals! You are out in both parties now. But Dole will likely serve on in some important policy-related commissions

grok: Editor for the Tripod Politics page.

werebeast: I believe that Bob Dole should take on the job of trying to get "The Slickster" through Filegate, Whitewater, and every other despicable thing that is going to keep "Slick Willy" busy for the next four years.

DS2: He could write a book about his life. It could take several books to get it all. That should keep him busy for a while.

michaelmccafferty: Bob Dole is a a great statesman and respected around the world... President Clinton would truly build a bridge to world peace and stability by asking Bob Dole to serve as SECRETARY OF STATE. It would make history and America would be well served.

ethan: I'm hoping that Bob Dole's tendency to refer to himself in the third person points to an unexplored talent as an MC. Though he had great difficulty rocking the vote, I think there's a distinct possibility that Bob Dole can rock the mike. And, after all his time in the Senate, don't we all long to hear the phrase, "Bob Dole in the house!" Perhaps if Suge Knight ever gets out of prison, he can help Citizen Dole find success on the airwaves.

woodnymph: Bob is a scary guy. I think he would make a great fright figure in a House of Wax. For added fright, they could post his views and policies nearby. Makes me shudder.

RLGreen: I've got several jobs in mind for Dole. He could be a mannequin in an old-men's store. He could be a greeter at Wal-Mart. He could be a flagger for Highway construction crew. Or he could be a window washer in a submarine, thus remaining on the federal payroll.

feminoogie: Well, seeing as the combined assets of the Doles were at approximately 600K, and Dole only pulled 130K or so as a Senator, maybe they could try to make do on Liddy's wages, plus honoraria, and the varied and sundry companies on whose directorial boards he could serve and pull in the big bucks for implied influence.

oh, and hey grok, to be the p&c; editor at Tripod, you'd need a love of learning and discussion, not a love of lobbyists, coin, and power.

RCalvert: I think he should get a job hosting the X-Files, or maybe that Didi-7 informercial.

DavidMichael: In my opinion, Bob Dole was very much like Nixon in the 1960 Presidential election. Yet, unlike Nixon, I doubt he'll ever have a chance to be elected again. If I were him, I would try to get a job helping a candidate get elected, such as Powell or Lugar. Unfortunately, I believe Bob will try to run again, and mess up someone else's chance of election, just like he did against George Bush.

loujon69: Dole would make a great ambassador. Of course he's already got his pension, so I suggest he retire and write books. That will generate income for him, and he will feel productive.

022591: I think they should bring back Get Smart. Bob could play Zigfried, the head guy from KAOS.

SpittingLlama: During the debates, the media really focused on Bob Dole's keen sense of humor. And what humor it was! Mr. Dole should get some kind of comedy routine together and tour the country, cheering up his audience with his quick wit! Look out Improv! Here comes Dole!

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