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From Don LeClaire, Senior Software Engineer:

There's an ancient Chinese curse that is roughly translated as: "May you live in interesting times." It seems that people have always feared change in their lives, clinging instead to the comfortable, the familiar, the routine. Yet it was also the ancient Chinese who recognized the universal truth of yin and yang — the fact that nothing ever remains constant, that everything is always in flux. As an aspiring modern-day Taoist, I try to hold the view that since change is inevitable, it should be expected and embraced. As a software engineer working with Internet technology, this view translates into a survival technique. Very little remains constant on the Web. Change is reality. It's both exciting and frustrating at the same time. It takes a particular attitude to be able to ride the wave of ubiquitous change. As my friend and fellow Tripodian hacker Heather Grace would say, "Suck it up, pal!"

But enough philosophy. I've recently had a first-hand opportunity to take a spin on the ole Wheel of Life. I quit my corporate job of twenty years and joined the Tripod team, remortgaged my house, and got married, all in the span of about a month. Now, after a three-week honeymoon in Hawaii, I'm back in the beautiful Berkshires feeling a bit like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. ("Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.") Every aspect of my life has been altered in some way. The new ring on my left hand still feels a little weird. The first time I introduced Susan as "my wife" I practically choked on the words. ("... and this is Susan, my girlfr... significan... er, ah, wife.") When I returned to work, I discovered that priorities had shifted, new goals had been established, and that I would be working on a new, quick turn-around project. I guess maybe I shouldn't have lugged that twenty-pound Cold Fusion programming manual all the way to Hawaii and back (yeah, I know I was on my honeymoon, but I'm a die-hard geek... what can I say).

But sordid details aside, I'm writing to tell you all that it's OK. That change is good. Take the new job, for instance. In my former life as a "corporate geek" for a large defense contractor, I had the opportunity to cut my teeth on a wide variety of software projects, programming languages, and hardware platforms, working with some extremely talented people. I developed my chops in a fairly structured and disciplined software engineering environment (some might say Draconian, at least in the early days). Thanks to the patience of my many mentors (you know who you are), and after my share of blunders and success stories, I developed a solid reputation and a deep respect from my peers. It was a pretty cool position to be in — the guy other people came to for answers and bits of technical wisdom. As much as I try to suppress my ego, I must confess there was something very heady about being someone "in the know."

And then, overnight, I was an idiot again. My first few weeks at Tripod felt like watching a video on fast-forward. It was a blur of young, sharp, high-energy people, focused, making quick decisions, confident, knowledgeable... and there I was, asking one dumb question after another: "Michelle, where do I find the source files for the Homepage Studio?... Heather, how do I set up our debug environment for Java servlets?" All the old comfortable working relationships were gone (well, most of them anyway ;-) and new ones needed to be established. There was a sea of new faces I had to quickly attach names to. I was one of the "new guys"... and the jury's still out on me. It's a very humbling experience, but one I would recommend to everyone. It teaches you volumes about yourself. At the same time, the experience is very liberating. It's an opportunity to take the best part of you forward and leave a LOT of old baggage behind.

In the final analysis, the opportunity to grow in new directions, both personally and professionally, is why I came to Tripod in the first place. I left behind many good friends and colleagues (fortunately they're not too far away), but I've found a new extended family of very friendly and supportive people, which has helped to greatly ease the transition. Like breaking in a new pair of Birkenstocks, my life is slowly beginning to feel comfortable and familiar again.

But I guess shouldn't get too comfortable. I know that change is always just around the corner. But it's OK, really. Change is good.

Take care,
Don, Senior Software Engineer (11/13/98)

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Read more "Letters from Tripod" in the archive.

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