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From Nadine Kessler, Promotions Director:

"See, you don't have to think about doing the right thing. If you're for the right thing, then you do it without thinking."
   — Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

I've known for about a month now that I had a looming deadline for this letter, the first I've written since I've been at Tripod. I've been tossing around topics in my mind, hoping that something would inspire me to start. This lack of inspiration is sort of ironic when one considers that I'm six weeks away from the most life-changing event one woman can experience — becoming a mom.

Sure, I've been growing at a pretty rapid pace these days. It all began in August with the little plus sign, followed by several sonograms. I hear the baby's heartbeat twice a month at my doctor's office, and spend most nights lying in bed looking down at my belly as it moves completely independently from the rest of me. Yep, I'm definitely pregnant. But I haven't quite looked beyond the pregnancy — until now.

I am writing this from my "home office." Well, it used to be a home office. The room is now in a period of transition from work area to nursery. Quite a change. I am buried in pastel-colored boxes, baby wipes, bags with tiny hand- and footprints on them. My notebooks are piled in the corner on the Exersaucer box. My folders are resting on top of the Diaper Genie. There's a giant teddy bear in the car seat to my right, and a Peter Rabbit mobile hanging from the closet door.

You see, yesterday was my "surprise" baby shower, during which everything suddenly changed and the enormity of the situation became clear to me. After helping unload a truckload of gifts, my husband and I just looked around in awe. "Oh my God, we're going to be somebody's parents — and really soon." Until now, our home has been pretty much devoid of baby things. Sure, I had some pregnancy books, "congratulations on your pregnancy" cards, prenatal vitamins, and so on. But that was because I am pregnant. I now have six short weeks (hopefully I won't deliver early) to prepare for what comes after pregnancy, which is parenting — and I'm not sure I know how to do it.

Don't get me wrong — I can't wait to meet and hold this child. I just didn't think ten months (that's right, it's really ten — nine months is some ancient myth or something) would go by so quickly. I don't know what on earth to expect. Forget worrying about whether it's a boy or a girl — does anyone know how to bathe one of these tiny people? It's frightening.

So, looking around this "soon-to-be nursery," I conclude that life is really just a series of transitions from one phase to the next. We just hope that we navigate the move successfully. Now it's time for me to make another change, from pregnant woman to mother.

It's bound to be quite an adventure.

Nadine (3/13/98)

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Read more "Letters from Tripod" in the archive.