Women's Zone: Meet the Editor

<body bgcolor="#CC3333" text="#330000" link="#FFCCCC" alink="#CC3333" vlink="#660000"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td valign="TOP" align="CENTER" width="178">  <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="170"> <tr> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="100%"> <a href="../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/logo-map.html"><img src="../../img/nav/www_subdomain/logo.gif" alt="Tripod Map" border="0" height="58" width="170" ismap></a></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="100%"> <a href="../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/universal2-map.html"><img src="../../img/nav/www_subdomain/universal2.gif" alt="Member Services Map" width="170" height="59" border="0" ismap></a></td> </tr><tr><td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="170" bgcolor="#999966"> <img src="../../img/www_subdomain/tripod_zones.gif" alt="tripod zones" width="81" height="17" border="0"></td> </tr><tr> <form action="http://www.tripod.com/bin/redirect" method="POST"> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="170" bgcolor="#999966"> <select name="URL"> <option value="/">Choose one:</option> <option value="/cars_trucks/">Cars&Trucks;</option> <option value="/computers_internet/">Computers/</option> <option value="/computers_internet/">       Internet</option> <option value="/entertainment/">Entertainment</option> <option value="/fun_games/">Fun&Games;</option> <option value="/health_fitness/">Health/Fitness</option> <option value="/home_family/">Home/Family</option> <option value="/jobs_career/">Jobs/Career</option> <option value="/money_business/">Money/Business</option> <option value="/shopping/">Shopping</option> <option value="/society_culture/">Society/Culture</option> <option value="/sports/">Sports</option> <option value="/teens/">Teens</option> <option value="/travel/">Travel</option> <option value="/women/">Women</option> </select><input type="IMAGE" src="../../img/www_subdomain/go.gif" width="24" height="20" border="0" align="ABSMIDDLE"> <img src="../../img/www_subdomain/trans.gif" width="1" height="3" border="0"><br><img src="../../img/www_subdomain/p_member_comm.gif" alt="pod member communities" width="146" height="11" border="0"><br> <a href="../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/pods-map.html"><img src="../../img/nav/www_subdomain/pods.gif" alt="Pod Map" width="170" height="18" border="0" align="top" ismap></a></td> </form> </tr> </table> <table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="1" width="170">  <tr><td></td></tr> <tr><td align="CENTER"> <center> <a href="#"></a> </center> </td></tr> <tr><td align="CENTER"> <center> <a href="#"></a> </center> </td></tr> </table>  </td> <td valign="TOP"><base target="_top"> <table cellspacing="0" border="0" width="100%"> <tr> <td valign="TOP" width="170"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="170"> <tr> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="100%"> <a href="../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/logo-map.html"><img src="../../img/nav/www_subdomain/logo.gif" alt="Tripod Map" border="0" height="58" width="170" ismap></a></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="100%"> <a href="../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/universal2-map.html"><img src="../../img/nav/www_subdomain/universal2.gif" alt="Member Services Map" width="170" height="59" border="0" ismap></a></td> </tr><tr><td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="170" bgcolor="#999966"> <img src="../../img/www_subdomain/tripod_zones.gif" alt="tripod zones" width="81" height="17" border="0"></td> </tr><tr> <form action="http://www.tripod.com/bin/redirect" method="POST"> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="170" bgcolor="#999966"> <select name="URL"> <option value="/">Choose one:</option> <option value="/cars_trucks/">Cars&Trucks;</option> <option value="/computers_internet/">Computers/</option> <option value="/computers_internet/">       Internet</option> <option value="/entertainment/">Entertainment</option> <option value="/fun_games/">Fun&Games;</option> <option value="/health_fitness/">Health/Fitness</option> <option value="/home_family/">Home/Family</option> <option value="/jobs_career/">Jobs/Career</option> <option value="/money_business/">Money/Business</option> <option value="/shopping/">Shopping</option> <option value="/society_culture/">Society/Culture</option> <option value="/sports/">Sports</option> <option value="/teens/">Teens</option> <option value="/travel/">Travel</option> <option value="/women/">Women</option> </select><input type="IMAGE" src="../../img/www_subdomain/go.gif" width="24" height="20" border="0" align="ABSMIDDLE"> <img src="../../img/www_subdomain/trans.gif" width="1" height="3" border="0"><br><img src="../../img/www_subdomain/p_member_comm.gif" alt="pod member communities" width="146" height="11" border="0"><br> <a href="../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/pods-map.html"><img src="../../img/nav/www_subdomain/pods.gif" alt="Pod Map" width="170" height="18" border="0" align="top" ismap></a></td> </form> </tr> </table> <table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="1" width="170">  <tr><td></td></tr> <tr><td align="CENTER"> <center> <a href="#"></a> </center> </td></tr> <tr><td align="CENTER"> <center> <a href="#"></a> </center> </td></tr> </table> <center></center> </td> <td valign="TOP" width="100%">  <table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="5"> <tr> <td bgcolor="#ff6666" width="30%" valign="TOP" align="LEFT"> <font size="+1" face="helvetica, verdana, arial"> WOMEN'S ZONE EDITOR<br><b>emma jane taylor</b><br></font> <font size="-1" face="helvetica, verdana, arial"> <b><a href="mailto:emma@tripod.com">emma@tripod.com</a></b><br><br> When I told my mum I was editing the Women's Zone, she said, "You're not going to get all women's libby on me, are you?" As a woman at work, a mother, a wife, a friend, she's my role model but she's also the reason I find it hard to call myself a feminist. My mother doesn't throw around femi-Nazi accusations; she just finds feminism fairly irrelevant to her life. <br><br> Feminism now has hundreds of qualifiers, from Camille Paglia's streetsmart feminism to New York's Third Wave, from Bust Magazine's New Girl Order to the Spice Girls' girl power. I find a bit of myself in each definition, but I can't commit to one. And I'm just one woman. <br><br>But this doesn't mean that either the word or the concept is irrelevant. You can question someone else's definition of feminism, but you can't ignore it if you don't want it to bind you. You don't have to lug the '70s feminist baggage around with you, but someone's gotta tell the Spice Girls that the battle isn't over yet, and their Ninja slogan just isn't going to cut it. (Don't get me wrong, <a href="/">I quite like their music</a>, but their politics lack a little substance.) <br><br>If feminism is relevant but we can't agree on a definition, where does that leave us? One woman's feminism is on the front line, battling for a better workplace; another woman's feminism is reveling in being a woman and to hell with the dishes. <br><br>So I started thinking about DIY (do it yourself) feminism. Where I come from, DIY conjures images of middle-aged men building bookshelves on the weekend; in America it has more to do with punk and saying fuck your way I don't need a certificate to do this. Somewhere between these two definitions is where I define DIY. Call it feminism if you want, or just call it women doing it themselves. Bring your history, your education, your passions and your painful exes to the Women's Zone, and we'll hash it out together. Because your feminism should be a reflection, not a dictation, of who you are. Your feminism is your diary, your mission, your rant  but never your rule book. <br><br>I'll bring you women doing it themselves, from media to masturbation. I'll bring you mothers, strippers, writers, filmmakers  women who are passionate about what they do and not tied down by guidelines of how a woman or a feminist should be today. <br><br>But doing it yourself doesn't mean doing it on your own  which is why the Women's Zone Conference is the backbone of what goes on here. If you're looking for straight answers, inspiration, consolation, or just plain good conversation, you'll find it in the Women's Zone Conference. Share female condom mishaps, admire Ellen's latest girlfriend, bitch about Virginia Slims, or discuss your own brand of DIY feminism. It's like the scrawl on the bathroom wall  you'll never make a pamphlet from it, but it tells one hell of a good story about who we are. <br><br>Welcome to the Women's Zone. <br><br><b>Emma Taylor</b> <br><br><a href="mailto:emma@tripod.com">emma@tripod.com</a> </font> </td> <td colspan="3"> <font size="+1" face="helvetica, verdana, arial" color="white"> <b>Letters to the editor, 4/16/98:</b> </font> <br> <br><font face="helvetica, verdana, arial"> <b>Emma,</b> <br><br> As another woman, I agree with <a href="/">your advice to Grayson</a> about getting his own life. I myself have raised three girls (talk about girl power!), worked, and gone to school for the past 7 years....my own way and by myself! I find it very hard to find men who can accomplish as much as I have accomplished. They just can't seem to keep my pace and enthusiasm for life, so I quit. I will no longer subject myself to pathetic saps who think I am their sole purpose in life. I want a man who wants to live the adventure if life with me, not because of me. <br><br> Pam </font> <br>  <hr width="10" size="10"> <br> <font face="helvetica, verdana, arial" color="white"> <b>Pam,</b><br><br> It's funny  I saw the subject-header of your e-mail, and assumed you were going to tell me I had been way too harsh on Grayson! But I'm glad to hear that I wasn't just speaking for myself when I replied to him (even though I told him I couldn't and wouldn't speak for all women). <br><br> I hope you find someone else as adventurous as you  if not, it sounds like you'll do just fine on your own! (Leaving just a few broken-hearted pathetic saps in your wake...) <br><br> Emma </font> <br>  <hr width="10" size="10"> <br> <font face="helvetica, verdana, arial"> <b>Hi Emma!</b> <br><br> I find that "living in a man's world" has been pretty harsh on me, so I have no sympathy for men. They created it...let them experience the consequences; not come home to their sweet wives or mothers for brow-smoothing, lavish meals, and escapist cuddles under down comforters. Meanwhile, we women are bringing our "girl power" to the bargaining tables around the world and negotiating a more humane work world and equal status, benefits, and pay within that work world for ALL people. With that kind of agenda, what woman has any respect for saps that are looking to women as a means of escape???? <br><br> Pam </font> <br>  <hr width="10" size="10"> <br> <font face="helvetica, verdana, arial" color="white"> <b>Pam,</b><br><br> Amen to that! What you said reminded me of a discussion (about stay-at-home mothers) on a mailing list I subscribe to. One woman made the comment that she is a full-time working mother, and doesn't really spend time with her next-door neighbor (even though they are the same age and have kids the same age). The reason? Her neighbor is a stay-at-home mum, and so they each view their homes very differently  for the stay-at-home mum, the house is a launchpad for all that she does, for the working mum, it is a place to come home to after a hard day at the office. <br><br> Emma </font> <br>  <hr width="10" size="10"> <br> <font face="helvetica, verdana, arial"> <b>Hi Emma!</b> <br><br> Hi Emma! <br><br> I think the home is a fine place to crash after a hard work day as well as a launch pad for daily activities. I try to make my home serve both funtions for myself and my daughters. I am a strong believer in allowing ALL persons to make choices about how they, as individuals, are going to live their lives responsibly. I find I can talk to other mothers of various backrounds simply because we all have kids in common. Whether a mother chooses to stay at home, have a career, or both is making choices that are best for the dynamics of her whole family. Just as families have differing dynamics, the manner in which daily living is done should also vary according to the family needs (assuming that the family unit meets individuals' needs.) <br><br> I have a gripe with women who think they should be married and be mothers when they have no business playing those roles and going against their nature and needs! Some women should just have careers or social agendas that make the world a better place or just make their private worlds better places instead of trying to live out roles that are not suitable for their characters or circumstances. When people play out roles that are unsuitable for them, they are unhappy, others around them are unhappy, and there is digress rather than progress in the human struggle. So Ladies, make sure the shoe fits before you buy it! PLEEAAASSSEEE!!!! :) <br><br> Pam </font> <br>  <hr width="10" size="10"> <br> <font face="helvetica, verdana, arial" color="white"> OK, after all that, maybe it's time for a few more words from our favorite 38-year-old divorcee out there. Give it up, Grayson... </font> <br>  <hr width="10" size="10"> <br> <font face="helvetica, verdana, arial"><b>Re: Spice Girls</b><br><br> Emma, <br><br> I think I figured some of it out. You ought to get a kick out of this. It has a lot to do with fairy tales and other odd notions. <br><br> We're told to be nice little boys. We're told not to hurt anyone. Mommy likes us when we're nice, sweet, kind and subservient. "Momma's good little man. Daddy's little helper. Momma's little angel." (When was the last time you saw a child rewarded for taking charge of the situation and telling his parents what to do?) And we watch movies where the "good guy always gets the girl." <br><br> Then we get into the real world. Speaking for myself, I just wanted to get out there and make people happy. Yeeeeck. I've always wanted to be somebody's hero. I've just been going about it the wrong way. Heroes don't go around bowing and waiting on others hand and foot. My self-image amounted to "Gee, if you'd just like me a bit I'll walk thru fire, stand down an army or fight wild animals bare-handed, (if you'll just pretty please like me a little bit, won't you please?)" Weird, but true. And the really strange part was that no one took advantage of that. lol <br><br> Men are dogs. I don't say this as an insult. I like dogs. They're loyal, brave, faithful, noble in the extreme. A good dog will kill or die for you without a moment's thought. But they need to be loved. They need affection to be happy and healthy. But as dogs go, I was a bit lacking. Not really in the qualities I meantioned. But in the confidence, self-assurance and pride departments. I was insecure. When you try too hard to be loved, no one will. <br><br> So we find ourselves all grown up, wandering around lost, dazed, aching and wondering way nobody wants us. Scratching our heads over the women who walk by us and spit as they go off chasing after some jerk who could care less about them, who will use and abuse them and dump them in six months. Or they trail off after some guy they have no hope in hell of ever hooking up with. And that just makes things worse. We can't figure out why this happens and we never once question our basic assumptions, the things we learned from fairy tales and movies, the things that they didn't say in words, the things that they just showed us as the way things were. Most of us just never get past the idea that "women like nice guys" no matter how many times it fails us. <br><br> In parting I'd like to say: if you want to see someone unhappy, find a dashing knight who can't find a maiden to rescue or a princess to slay a dragon for. Let him slay a dragon for you and he's yours for life. <br><br> Grayson </font> <br>  <hr width="10" size="10"> <br> <font face="helvetica, verdana, arial" color="white"> So there you have it, girls and boys. It's all about dragons. If you're looking for a good man, keep a dragon in your backyard. Now if only I could find someone to take care of my dragon while I go out to work... Life as a princess in distress is not all it's cracked up to be. <br><br> Keep writing those <a href="mailto:emma@tripod.com">letters</a>! <br><br> Emma </font> <br><br><br> <center><font size="+1" face="helvetica, verdana, arial"> <b><a href="/">more letters to and from the editor</a></b></font> </center> </td> </tr> </table> <form method="POST" action="../../www_subdomain/bin/search/pursuit.html"> <br clear="ALL"><br> <table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" align="RIGHT"> <tr> <td valign="MIDDLE" align="RIGHT"> <nobr><img src="../../img/www_subdomain/lycos_power.gif" border="0" alt="Lycos Powered" height="15" width="91"> <select name="cat"> <option value="tripod_www" selected>Search the Tripod Web Site <option value="tripod">Search Tripod Member Pages <option value="lycos">Search the Web</select></nobr></td> </tr> <tr> <td valign="MIDDLE" align="RIGHT"> <nobr><input type="text" size="20" name="query"> <input type="submit" value="Search"></nobr> <br> <br> <center> <font size="-2" face="helvetica, verdana, arial">©Tripod, Inc. Tripod® is a registered trademark of Tripod, Inc. All rights reserved. </center></td> </tr> </table> </form> <br clear="ALL"> </td> </tr> </table> </td> </tr> </table> </body>