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<img src="../../../../work/columns/img/www_subdomain/workinglife.gif"><p>
<b>
<font size="+2">T</font><font size="+1">HE</font>
<font size="+2">T</font><font size="+1">ELL-</font><font size="+2">T</font><font size="+1">ALE</font> <font size="+2">D</font><font size="+1">ESK</font><br>
</b><br>
<p>Published June 3, 1996<br><p>
<a href="../../../../www_subdomain/work/archive/goldstein.html"><font size="+1">Previous columns</font></a>
<br>by
Harry Goldstein
</td>
<td><p><br>
<pre>
</pre><center><img src="../../../../work/columns/goldstein/img/gold12/www_subdomain/he.gif" width="106" height="80"> <img hspace="30" src="../../../../work/columns/goldstein/img/gold12/www_subdomain/she.gif" width="106" height="80"></center><p>
<p><font size="+2">M</font><font size="+1">y boss greeted me in my cubicle this morning. She'd been nosing around my desk, looking for a file she had lent me the day before. Usually very amiable, she asked me, quite curtly, where the file was and if I had any intention of cleaning up my desk so people could find stuff when I was out. She wouldn't meet my gaze and when she finally stalked back to her office, <b><font color="#003366">I</font></b> sat down and looked at my desk through <b><font color="#900000">her</font></b> eyes:</font>
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<p><font color="#003366"><font size="+2">A</font><font size="+1"> list of freelance articles and due dates--a dead giveaway that if I'm not actually freelancing during the work day, then I'm at least thinking about it on company time.</font></font>
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<p align="right"><font color="#900000"><font size="+2">T</font><font size="+1">hought crime number one.</font></font></p></td>
<td valign="top"><img align="left" src="../../../../work/columns/goldstein/img/gold12/www_subdomain/she.gif" width="106" height="80"></td>
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<tr><td valign="top"><img align="right" src="../../../../work/columns/goldstein/img/gold12/www_subdomain/he.gif" width="106" height="80"></td>
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<p><font color="#003366"><font size="+2">S</font><font size="+1">everal unanswered phone messages spanning the last couple of weeks from PR people and researchers trying to pitch me stories I couldn't care less about.</font></font>
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<p align="right"><font color="#900000"><font size="+2">A</font><font size="+1">rticle development opportunities rotting on the vine. I wonder if he's divesting from his job, if he's already moved on mentally.</font></font></p>
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<p><font color="#003366"><font size="+2">T</font><font size="+1">wo half full (half empty?) cups of cold coffee. Caffeine is no longer sufficient to stave off the narcolepsy I suffer when reading government laboratory reports, not to mention the inevitable after lunch nap. At least now she knows that I try to stay awake, even though the sight of coffee near the computer probably lead her to look for coffee spillage, which she no doubt found.</font></font>
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<p align="right"><font color="#900000"><font size="+2">A</font><font size="+1">ll over the keyboard and mouse pad! Destroying office property. He just doesn't care anymore.</font></font></p>
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<p><font color="#003366"><font size="+2">B</font><font size="+1">ehind the computer monitor lay two speakers which are no longer hooked up to my computer. I inadvertently disconnected them when I took my bike home after "storing" it next to my desk for 8 months.</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">M</font><font size="+1">aybe he's started taking things home in anticipation of getting a new job. And the fact that the speakers aren't hooked up....well, he's just given up any pretense of reviewing CD ROMs for the magazine, that's obvious!</font></font></p>
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<p><font color="#003366"><font size="+2">O</font><font size="+1">n the copy tray, a hypertext map I drew for a story I did for Word.com on the medicinal uses of marijuana;</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">M</font><font size="+1">aybe he gets high during lunch -- maybe that's why he takes naps every afternoon. It would certainly explain why he's always acting so weird!</font></font></p>
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<font color="#003366"><font size="+1">behind the copy tray is a piece of paper with the name Abe Dane, Hearst News Online;</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">M</font><font size="+1">aybe he's had an interview with him? Have I ever met Abe Dane socially? Did I make a good impression? Hearst definitely pays more</font></font></p>
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<font color="#003366"><font size="+1">directly in front of the copy tray is a Lone Ranger tie tack</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">H</font><font size="+1">e's a maverick, but he never wears a tie. Dress code demerit right there. Wait -- maybe he IS wearing a tie -- on interviews!</font></p></font>
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<font color="#003366"><font size="+1">resting on top of several business cards from faceless Intergraph executives who shut me up in a little hotel room in Seattle in February and tried to convey the absolute urgency of their mission: to let the world know how great their software is and my role in getting the word out.</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">W</font><font size="+1">hy hasn't he written a story about Intergraph? They spend a ton on advertising with us.</font></p></font>
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<p><font color="#003366"><font size="+2">A</font><font size="+1"> fax confirming the briefing I just had with the PR people from Softdesk, Inc.,</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">T</font><font size="+1">hat's why he waltzed in here so late! He should have told me he had a meeting. Why didn't he tell me? Maybe it was really a job interview and he skipped the meeting -- and if I knew and called Softdesk to see how things went, then I'd have him NAILED!</font></p></font>
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<font color="#003366"><font size="+1">a fax I frantically searched for yesterday and which partially conceals a notepad that I only use to refer to the phone number for Columbia Journalism School's jobline, 212-854-6844, which lists new jobs every Monday.</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">J</font><font size="+1">obline? That explains everything.</font></p></font>
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<p><font color="#003366"><font size="+2">A</font><font size="+1"> brochure for the Incinolet electric toilet that I'm trying my damndest to find space for in my emerging technology newsletter; I'd do just about anything to get that exploding outhouse on the front page before I leave this job. Maybe if I spin it as an innovative waste treatment technology?</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">M</font><font size="+1">aybe he thinks it's funny--when he's high!</font></p></font>
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<td valign="top"><img align="left" src="../../../../work/columns/goldstein/img/gold12/www_subdomain/she.gif" width="106" height="80"></td>
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<p><font color="#003366"><font size="+2">O</font><font size="+1">n top of the phone list is one half-eaten frosted strawberry Pop-tart</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">"M</font><font size="+1">unchies," I'm sure</font></p></font>
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<font color="#003366"><font size="+1">which has doubled as breakfast and lunch -- I could have called it brunch but it's a weekday, so I'll just call it a Pop-tart and whoa! -- there's my phone ringing the dreaded single ring meaning it's my boss at the other end and I've got to wrap up this little tour of my desk. I wonder if we're finally going to have the Big Talk.</font></font>
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<font color="#900000"><p align="right"><font size="+2">I</font><font size="+1"> wonder if he's ready for<br>
The Big Talk?</font></p></font>
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<p><br>
<hr width="300">
<blockquote>
<p><a href="mailto:hargold@mail.idt.net">Harry Goldstein</a> is a writer and editor living in Manhattan. His work has appeared in Utne Reader, American Book Review, Promethean, AltX, word.com, and other periodicals.
<font size="-1"><p>© 1996 Harry Goldstein, All Rights Reserved
</font>
</blockquote>
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