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this weeks dilemma & responses
Most of us work or pursue some vocation or avocation that brings us money. We spend a good chunk of our waking lives working, and another chunk spending or trying to save the money we earn. And, unfortunately, work & money can bring us exasperating, frustrating, or otherwise difficult problems: ethical choices, unfair bosses or companies, ends that don't meet, worker-companions who rile, careers that get off-track..... But, hey -- you're not alone! In this forum Tripod members ask each other for help and advice; the results are often very enlightening (and always interesting).From the many very deserving questions we receive every week, we select one and post it so that Tripod members can help unstick their financial sticky wickets. How about giving us your two cents worth?
"I have gone into debt through both college expenses and my prior lack of spending control. Recently I have been making every effort to pay off high interest creditors until it hurts -- unfortunately, my tolerance to pain is lower than my wife's. I feel more like a parent than a husband, as I am constantly forced to explain the reasons we can't use our credit and can't afford some things. I wish she could see the effects of lousy credit now, before we attempt to buy a house or another car someday. What should I do?"
posted Tuesday July 16, 1996
jmd: From what I read, more marriages break up over financial woes than anything else. I'm not a trained marriage counselor, but here's a financial tip that may make you less tense.
Consider working with a consumer credit agency. There's such a thing in my state that runs as a non-profit, and will work to help you maintain non-antagonistic relationships with creditors and still have money to live on. And when you go, take your wife.RayMart: I wish I could say I have not been there, but I cannot, so here's my 2 pennies...
Consider making a change in your tax withholdings if you are getting refunds each year. This can add valuable $$$ to your budget. It may seem small at first, but it can make a difference. Take a REAL close look at where the $$ are REALLY going. Sometimes we tend to carry cash and spend it on alot of little things that don't seem like much, but they add up quickly. Take lunch to work, and the whole bit. It helps. I have found that when a sacrifice needs to be made, it is better for me to make it and keep the peace than ask others to do so. Seeking a consumer credit agency would not be my first choice. Check into debt consolidation loans in your area (Primerica Financial services does this...) or a home equity loan to pay off high interest loans/credit cards (home equity loan interest is deductible). Communications with your spouse needs to be a priority, please do not let finances ruin a good thing...it ain't worth it.khurt: My advice is to consider starting a home-based network marketing business. My sister-in-law and her husband started one two years ago for $175. With effort and determination they now have a business bringing in $2000/month profit. Make sure you check out any business throughly since, like any profession, there are scams and huksters.
KMorrison: Start by cutting up the credit cards...or get one with a small limit, like $200, just so you can keep a credit rating.
bogden: I am old enough to know better, and I am an accountant to boot, but I 've been there, too. There's no explaining it, because in our society money is an emotional thing, tightly connected to self-image and gratification of lots of mostly manufactured wants. I strongly second the idea of consumer credit counseling, the non-profit kind found in most communities. They usually require BUDGETS, which suggests facing financial reality and imposing some discipline. Your wife will respect you for taking the lead in financial matters. Respect her opinions, consider her input, then take the responsible steps to live within your income, with credit only for houses and cars.
buch1: I am a guy getting out of same situation. So, to emphasize a point, here is my wife's advice: "I think that financial goals work well when both husband and wife work together. It is easy to spend and never look at the bills that follow. I think that writing goals down together is a good way to develop an outlook on where you are now, where you are headed, and what you both need to do together to achieve the goals. Financial independence works much better when you have two people headed in the same direction. Share the responsibilities, and share the financial rewards."
GooRoo: Have a total and unequivicable mental and emotional breakdown. You are going to have to be a bigger kid than your lovely spouse. After you do that -- if you see that there just ain't no way out -- claim bankruptcy. Now you and the Mrs. can learn to use cash to get what you want. Home? Lease with option to buy, you get to know your home better anyway. Any other purchases should be goals and the purchase can only be made at the end of the month. Set "spending" goals during the month -- the delay will help you and your "dudette" practice patience with life. And yes, things will pop up -- they always do! All I can say is deal with it -- if you can create more income, fine, but I think you know now, one can not really live beyond their means for very long before the "green reaper" shows up. Good Luck and...take advantage of all the FREEBIES on the net, contests, etc.
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