Help! I had an affair with a woman in my office, and it ended badly almost a year ago. In the meantime, she was promoted and became my boss -- and she very clearly has it in for me. Last week, she told me "not to expect a big Christmas bonus" -- and that my New Year's Resolution should be to look for a new job. She was obviously insinuating that she plans to give me the axe, but the problem is that she said this out of earshot of other employees and I have no proof. I know that my job performance has been just fine, but I am worried. Do I have any legal recourse or protection? If not, how can I improve the situation and protect my livelihood?
sioux4noff: She isn't necessarily saying she'll give you the axe, but she sure isn't going to cut you any slack. I'd follow her advice and look for another job. If that's not a possibility, can you transfer within the company? The current situation will not work.
mbooth: Sue her for sexual harassment. This way you will keep your job and she will be shaking hands with the unemployed. Make up complete lies about HER also.
96skb: From what you've described, there really isn't a clear-cut sexual harrasment case. In order for you to make a legitimate claim of sexual harassment, you would have to prove that she made those comments in retribution for the relationship ending. And as you said, that was a year ago. Otherwise you would have to demonstrate that your work environment is unbearable due to decidedly sexual commentary or behavior stemming from her.
But, what might work for you is to notify other supervisors or Human Resources. Without witnesses, it's important that you go on record with a complaint. Perhaps the problem is more a personality conflict (maybe stemming from the past relationship) and can be worked out.
caffine:
Don't stoop to her level, and never, ever speak to her -- in any circumstance --
without witnesses. If you value your job, and have nothing to hide other
than the affair, confide in her supervisor or company superior. If, in
the past, the affair ended on a sour note for her, that should be clarified
as separate from your role in the company. Emotional scars are not the
recipe for job office revenge!
Roxmelton: Look for another job. If she made it clear to other employees that you're doomed, it's obvious that they know about your past fling. Your a marked man and now she has got the upper hand. If you want to protect your livelihood, keep your affairs out of the office to avoid getting into a similar bind -- and learn to keep your work and personal life separate.
