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WORK & MONEY

Marshella: We have to specialize our interests, to pursue only one or two hobbies at a time. For me, this is the hardest thing to do. I love life, and there are so many times that I not only want to stop and smell the roses, but also the lilies, honeysuckle, and lavender! Then I want to pick and blow the dandelions. Not to mention caring for many pets, instead of just one or two, and reading each and every web page the crosses my monitor, even if I am not *really* all that interested in it. Fortunately, I don't have children of my own yet, but I am trying to prepare myself now. I have to discriminate, to pick out that one flower out of all that I most want and would most enjoy smelling. That is what I need to do to maintain a healthy soical and family life. That is what I am working on.

Shazam420: Part of this equation that has been bothering me lately is a facet not often spoken about. Recently many changes in our society have created a situation that generally requires a dual-income household to support a family... so since Mom is at work, both adults not only have to work more than 40 hours per week, but now each person has a heap of responsibilities at home that are new to this era, or which simply used to be handled by the unemployed member of the family. These include such things as preparing meals, general cleaning, laundry, shopping and other errands... we have less time to accomplish our goals now than ever before.
Although I do NOT concur with the GOP stance on family values, I am forced to admit that this aspect of our lives is the most important. Those that employ us are doing all of humanity a diservice by turning our lives into a chaotic mess. We must concentrate on sharing love and knowledge with those that come after us; if we can at least do this, then I feel all of the other pieces will simply fall into place!

amie: Coming as I do from a family with 3 children, 2 steady careers, and a plethora of sports, lessons, and activities, I can say with conviction that there are 2 fundamentals which can provide family unity and identity in chaos. These are religion and dinner. When families worship together it gives them an opportunity to look into each other's souls, and it's good for children to see what guides their parents' morals and decisions. Secondly, all families should eat as many meals together as possible. It gives family members a chance to relax and talk, and conversation is a great way to stay close.

Fresher: I think people should reserve special times in the weeks or months ahead for those special occasions with their children, spouse and friends. Work is something you do away from family and social life. When my colleagues and I go out for dinner, we often tend to talk about work, but there's always one who'll say after a while: "can we talk about something else". That usually coincides with when the fun starts.

Convenience1: For a healthy balance, one spouse should be open to quitting their job for some time off, to update their education, to search for a better job. I'm not saying quit a job every two or three years, I'm saying take the long view and recognize your loyalty is to your spouse and family, not to your employer in the long run. After all, what employer today is loyal to their employees?

Geoffling: I think a law should be passed forcing employers to give thier workers time to spend at home when needed.

paboola: I work for a successful West Coast new media/WWW company, and the huge amount of hours they expect from us day-in, week-out is pure insanity. None of us in my office are married, thank God. We'd be headed for divorce if we were. With 60-70 hours a week in the office (including weekends) and more work to take home, none of us has time to breathe, much less to meet someone special and start a family. Never mind the hype and the user-friendly interfaces -- the reality of the working life in start-ups is pretty grim, and nobody even knows for sure if any of these companies will last through the next few years.

GolfGizmo: After all is said, and done, and we look back on our lives, it's the relationships we've had with others that means anything - not some vocational time investment. Family comes first, then self, then friends, then work. A failure to prioritize and plan will result in unhappiness.

goforth: Organize against the pressure for longer work weeks. If labor can organize for higher wages they can also organize for lower work hours. In fact this has been done throughout Western Europe. These issue are complex (productivity, marginal productivity, compensation, marginal compensation, etc.) but the point I would make is that the trend towards longer work weeks IS NOT INEVITABLE. This is a consequence of the way our economy and society are evolving. Employers are also increasingly switching to temporary workers so they can avoid paying benefits. There are a host of structural changes emerging from the transition to a post-industial economy. Folks should sit back and think about whether they want their lives changed in those ways.

CZUR: There is only one thing to remember: "Family comes before anything"!!

zeshan: As backwards as this may sound, a MOTHER'S place is in the home. Notice I did not use the word women. A women has a right to work and be an equal to any man, but when she chooses to be a mother in a happy family situation she should give that up and be a full time mother for the sake of her family her children and their well-being.

sherwood: This is a tough one, but I know from experience! You MUST make time to spend with your kids. Visit frequently with your Dad. Call your Mother often. Don't put it off!

TAGIII: I think that one of the main keys to maintaining a healthy family relationship is to work around your schedules.Make time to be with your family even when you're at your busiest. Whether it be going to a movie, sitting to gether at the dinner table, or just watching TV together; make time for each other.

enigma7: My golden rule is that I work strictly, and exactly, the 37 hours I am contracted to work. Maybe, when jobs offer more in the way of flexibility and fulfilment, I might live differently. However, at the moment, I have a life to live, for which my job pays.

Blonde99: The question seems to assume that there is an answer! I am not so sure. The current mind-set of most large businesses is based on a kind of Neo-Darwinism. If you *make* it, you can do whatever you want to. If you don't, you don't deserve to, so who cares if your life is miserable? I know I sound pessimistic, but actually, there is hope -- it will just have to come to a breaking point where MOST employees realize that they are in a bind, and just don't put up with it. If nearly everyone is "downsized" then what is there to lose but your shackles?

Dickj: The modern work force is a cliche and is not as modern as it would like to believe. As a matter of fact the working man and woman of today is no different than those that went before. They are just more selfish when it comes to delineating between their needs and the needs of the family.
There is no need to put the needs of an employer above the needs of the family. The individual who suffers the drive to reinforce their own lives with crazed working habits has no life and heaps that self- pity on everyone around them. The point is there is no need to put the job ahead of the need of a child who cringes at the thought of a day in school. That child is only beginning to absorb the propaganda that the work place is more important than the needs of the family. And that is the awful truth. That someone, somewhere, is trying to make us believe that it is more important to work than live as a cohesive family. It is pervasive, subtle, and consuming for individuals who feel the need to justify their insignificant lives at the expense of their children.
Eliminate the me-first compulsion and the nuclear group again becomes a fascintating lifestyle.

baggs: Don't let yourself be exploited. If you're hired to put in an 8-hour day, work your time, then split. Life's too short to be giving it away to bosses who don't care anyway.

Twinfinity: Check out Scott Adams' "New Business Model: OA5" chapter in "The Dilbert Principle." THERE's the solution: Recognize that you can only get three or four truly productive hours a day from any worker, and schedule accordingly...and encourage creativity and relaxation. Unhappy workers do inferior work, and nobody's happy in slavery (despite Trent Reznor).

lisaish: I think the question is a back-assward way of looking at the situation. I don't think it's a matter of working our families into a busy schedule, I think its a matter of working our jobs into our family lives. As pointed out by Rifkin in his book "Time Wars", even though we've spent the last century working primarily on time-saving technology, we have less time on our hands than ever before -- our concept of time has shifted from the day to the hour, from the hour to the minute, and from the minute to the nanosecond. What does this prove? Where has it gotten us? We attribute this to the changing nature of our society, but I submit that we still get to have control over how much of this white data we assimilate, and over how complex our lives become. Its a matter of priorities, folks. We just need to remind ourselves more often what is important and what is not.

ralphb: 1) Get your priorities straight. Decide what's important to you. 2) Schedule time each day to do what you think is important. The key is taking the time to decide what you consider is important. If you don't, then someone else will, whather that someone is your boss, your spouse, or your parent.

enewman: Consider workplaces with extremely long hours pathological (even if common), and try to avoid them.

mokummer: It seems that the general opinion is that this is a new problem, au contraire, in 1967 I had a job (Plant Engineering Mgr) at a plant that was working 3 shifts. A week of 55 to 60 hrs. was normal with some going upto 70 hrs. That was when I decided that I had enough and I emigrated to the United States. Here I have some times worked long hours but no to that excess. Willem de mokummer