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by J. BETTY RAY
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ALSO BY J. BETTY RAY
Web Filter: "And the Winners Are..." Betty hands out awards for the most over-hyped corporate sites.
Web Filter: "The Car-Buying Guide of the Future!" In search of some new wheels, Betty takes the Web out for a spin.
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As the battle for your attention (or "eyeballs," as they say in corporate-speak) wages ever more fervently, the hype war shows no signs of relenting. Yesterday's Push Technology has given way to today's Direct Electronic Marketing Strategies, which will surely lead to tomorrow's Fully Integrated Content Management Solutions for commercial enterprises to keep themselves in your face. Hype keeps this machine going. Without it, this vaporous gold rush would, well, evaporate.
As a hype-weary Web traveller, I have come to rely on a few sites to assuage my aching brain. Indeed, these are thrilling times, yadda yadda, and it does behoove those of us in the industry to keep abreast of the technological, social, and economic <*cringe*> trends of the medium. But when it comes time for a little perspective, here are some of my favorite oases from the avalanche of spew:
Ditherati, created by former Suck(st)er Owen Thomas, offers a daily quote culled from the comments of pundits, CEOs, and other business ends of the Silicon Citadel. Here you'll find piquant koans like "It turns out that euphoria is not a business strategy," and, "We wanted people to enter this place that we had created and just want to feel it was real." There is an extensive archive too, so you can trace hype history back to the source. God bless 'em, the dithering digerati. So visionary, yet so very disposable.
I've only recently found Michael Sippey's Stating the Obvious, which is full of exquisite critiques of new and potentially terrifying technological developments and the requisite hype that goes with the territory. Features span the gamut from the Safeway Club Card — a harbinger of interactive grocery shopping — to the fascinating premise behind The Brain, an interface which supposedly employs "User Modeling Software" to organize your computer by mirroring the way your mind works. Until it's available for the Mac though, I'm saddened to report that I'll remain faithfully Brainless.
Sometimes, in the war against the hype war, there is no substitute for a good, mean-spirited parody that borders on copyright infringement. Microshaft is a delightfully silly adventure into the inner machinations of a sucky software company. They tease you with their own proprietary browser, Internet Exploder (a/k/a "Exploiter") and you can actually order Winblows 98. You even have a shot at winning some of Bill's money if you're well-enough versed in Gatesian trivia.
On the other side of the browser war, Netscrape has upped the ante with an Java-based demo of Notvigator 4.0 PR 1, the release of which is supposedly imminent. There is also an announcement of changes in Internet standards — the <HYPE> tag, for instance, which allows you to embed source hype right into your html document!
Think about that: client-side hype. That's brilliant! I'm actually hoping someone will invent a WYSIWYG Hype Development Kit so we can all hype to our heart's content. Now that's what the Web really needs, because when the hype drops, the cash flow stops. Hype on, everybody!
J. Betty Ray edits Fucker Dot Com, which is the future of the Web. No hype.
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