Open Letter to the Mother-to-Be by Bunny Fisher
	D e a r Soon-Enough-a-Mama,

Boy do I have some advice for you. Right off the bat, my biggest piece of advice is to disregard this and all other advice.

I say this because it has been my experience that the pregnant woman is an advice magnet. Just because you are lugging around a child in-utero and have no way to hide it, everyone and their mother and people who have never been mothers and yes, even men who can never even be mothers think it is their right and duty to tell you exactly what to expect from motherhood and also How to be the Perfect Mother.

...yes, babies do poop They might mean well (then again, they may not — I have my doubts about more than a few of them) but honey, they are all full of shit. Because, while they may be right about a few things (yes, you will be tired in the beginning, yes, babies do poop and throw up a lot) there is one thing they can never know, and that is this: Your experience with your baby will exceed any and all boundaries they will attempt to apply with their advice. NEXT