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From Alyssa Boehm, Sassy Editorial Intern:

I like Tripod because it offers you "tools for life." The only problem is, it doesn't offer me all the tools I need for my life. As a senior who is about to graduate, I'm on the verge of both a) employment and b) homelessness. But, understanding that Tripod can't do everything (try as they may), I've comprised this list of "tools from my life." Feel free to use them, and let me know how things turn out for you.

Work

If you are lucky enough to land an internship, try to get some money for it — and ask a lot of questions about when you get paid. I worked last summer as a correspondent/intern for a local newspaper. I got a lot of really good experience and I got paid for my hard work. The only problem was, I didn't get paid much and I only got paid about every six weeks. Under these conditions even the best budgets start to fall apart. I starved, I didn't use electricity unless completely necessary, I had no television, I never called anyone, I washed my clothes in the bathtub.

I'm talking poor here, people. I ate pasta, just pasta (no sauce) for three weeks straight during a particularly dire stretch. Never be afraid to beg your friends, family, and co-workers for food. Remember — clipping coupons is good, starving is bad. Hey, it's a tool for living.

Housing

If you have to live with roommates, try to pick people who are stupid and have money. See, I have two roommates who are exceptionally dumb, but have some money. We have to share the cost of our posh student apartment and all the expenses therein.

I had to move in first (see above) and so all the bills are in my name. (I strongly suggest that if you live with people you make sure all the bills are in your name.) I overcharge my roommates every month on phone, cable, and electric bills. In fact, I've been doing so well for myself that I don't think I'll have to even pay a penny out of my own pocket for this month's expenses.

You may be asking yourself, "Why is this woman publicly admitting to this fact?" I'll tell you why — because my roommates are too stupid to find this! HAH!

Cars

If you have the chance to buy a nice car, don't do it. I have an old blue dinger; it has bald tires, no shocks, and a radio that could burst into flames at any minute. I only drive my car about 40 miles total per week, so I don't really need tires, now do I?

Just remember, prioritizing is a key for living well.

Cooking

Consider becoming a vegetarian, not because it is chic and trendy or even a political statement, but because it is cheaper. See, meat costs more money than say...rice or beans. Meat also takes longer to cook, right? So, you save yourself time and money by making yourself a tasty baked bean sandwich rather than hunkering down a big ol' messy chili burger with extra onions.

And don't buy cereal, because it is too expensive. If you need your sugar fix in the morning, just go over to the sugar canister and pour yourself a big bowl of sugar. Don't forget the milk! It tastes just like some Cap'n Crunch for about 1/4 the price. Sugar is cheap, cereal is not.

Travelling

If you are driving across country, as I often do to go back home to Indiana, you know that a long trip can be tough. Of course, your trip can go much easier if you do a few things. Never break up a long road trip. If it takes you 20 hours, drive straight through. Sleep is for sissies. Eat at truck stops where there are a lot of calendars. I'm not sure why, but the food is better at these places. (I've tested this myself.) Always drink coffee from the truck stops — it keeps great big guys driving great big trucks awake, so it will probably keep you awake in your little Dodge duster.

If you are starting to doze off, listen to music you hate or talk shows that will make you mad. Ever try to sleep when you're mad? You can't! Do not drive through the state of Pennsylvania. It is long, and there are lots of police who'd like to give you a speeding ticket. And finally, just when you think you can't drive anymore and you've lost your will to live — speed. You'll get there faster, and you have no inhibitions about getting a ticket or even crashing your car.

These are the tools for my life. They may not work for everybody, but if you're lucky, you'll do as well as I have.

the everlovin' editorial intern

— Red Boehm

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Read more "Letters from Tripod" in the archive.

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