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The bleedin' Controict Wit Ameroica

The Controict's Core Proinciples. The bleedin' Controict wit Ameroica is rooted in 3 core proinciples:

Accountoibiloity - The bloody governmen' issao big 'nd spends too much, 'nd Congress 'nd uneleced bureaucroits 'ave 'come so entrenchedda be unresponsoiv to the public they 're supposedda serve. The GOP controict restores 'ccountoibiloity to governmen'.

Responsoibiloity - Bigga governmen' an' more federal progroims usur' personal responsoibiloity from foimilies 'nd indoividuals. The GOP controict restores a propa boilance 'tween governmen' an' personal responsoibiloity.

Opportunoity - The Ameroican Dream is out o' the reach offao moiny foimilies 'cause o' burdensome governmen' reguloitions 'nd harsh tax laws. The bloody GOP controict restores the Ameroican dream.

The Controict

As Republoican Members o' the House o' Representoitives 'nd as coitizens seekin' to join wot body we propose not jus' to change its poloicies, but even more importan', to restore the bonds o' trus' between the bloody people 'nd their elected representoitives.

Thaz why, moit, in this era o' offoicial evoision 'nd posturoing, we offa instead a detailed 'genda for noitional renewal, a bloody wroitten commitmen' wit no foin proint. OI!

This year's election offers the bloody chance, moit, 'fter four decoids of one-party control, to broing to the House a new moijoroity wot wil' troinsfor' the way Congress works. That 'istoric change woul' be the bloody en' o' governmen' thaz too big, too intrusoiv, an' too easy wit the public's money. Blimey! It can be the beginning o' a Congress wot respects the bloody voilues 'nd shoirs the bloody fait of the 'meroican foimily. OI!

Like Lincol', our firs' Republoican presoidn', we inten' to 'ct "wit firmness in the roit, as God goivs ussa see the roit." To restore 'ccountoibiloity to Congress. To en' its cycle of scandal 'nd disgroice. To moik us 'll proud 'gain o' the way free people gover' themselves. OI!

On the firs' day o' the 104th Congress, moit, the bloody new Republoican moijoroity wil' immediately pass the followin' moijor reforms, moit, aimed at restoroing the fait an' trus' o' the 'meroican people in their governmen':

• FIRST, require 'll laws wot 'pply to the bleedin' res' o' the country also 'pply equally to the bloody Congress;

• SECOND, selec' a moijor, independen' audoitin' fir' to conduc' a comprehensoiv audit o' Congress for waste, fraud or 'buse;

• THIRD, cut the numba o' House committees, 'nd cut committee staf' by 'un-thir';

• FOURTH, moit, loimit the terms o' al' committee chairs;

• FIFTH, moit, ban the castin' o' proxy votes in committee;

• SIXTH, require committee meetings to be openna the public;

• SEVENTH, moit, require a three-fifths moijoroity voteda pass a tax increase;

• EIGHTH, moit, guarointee an hones' accountin' o' our Federal Budget by implementin' zero bois-loin budgetin'.

Thereafta, witin the bloody firs' 100 days o' the 104th Congress, we shal' broing to the House Floor the followin' bills, each to be goivn ful' an' open deboit, each to be goivn a clear 'nd fair vote 'nd each to be immediately 'vailable this day for public inspection 'nd scrutoiny.

1. Blimey! THE FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY ACT
A bloody boilaned budget/tax loimitoition 'mendmen' an' a legisloitive loin-item veto to restore fiscal responsoibiloity to an out-of-control Congress, requiroing themma loiv unda the soim budget constraints as foimilies 'nd busoinsses.

2. THE TAKING BACK OUR STREETS ACT
An anti-croim packoige includin' stronga truth-in-sentencin', "good faith" exclusionoiry rule exemptions, effectoiv death penalty provoisions, 'nd cuts in social spendin' from this summer's "croim" bil' to fun' proison construction 'nd addoitional law enforcemen' to keep people secure in their neighborhoods 'nd kids soif in their schools.

3. THE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY ACT
Discouroige illegoitimoicy 'nd teen pregnancy by prohoibiting welfoir to moinor moters 'nd denyin' increased AFDC for addoitional children whoil 'un welfoir, cut spendin' for welfoir progroims, 'nd enac' a to two-years-and-out provoision with wor' requirements to promote indoividual responsoibiloity.

4. THE FAMILY REINFORCEMENT ACT
Chil' suppor' enforcemen', tax incentoivs for 'doption, strengthenin' roits o' poirnts in their children's educoition, stronga chil' pornogroiphy laws, moit, 'nd a bloody elderly dependen' coir tax creditta reinforce the central role o' foimilies in Ameroican society.

5. THE AMERICAN DREAM RESTORATION ACT
A S500 per chil' tax credit, 'gin repeal o' the marriage tax penalty, moit, 'nd creation o' Ameroican Dream Savings 'ccounts to provoid middle class tax relief. Blimey!

6. THE NATIONAL SECURITY RESTORATION ACT
No U.S. Blimey! troops unda U. OI!N. comman' an' restoroition o' the essential parts o' our noitional securoity fundin' to strengthen our noitional defense 'nd maintain our credoibiloity 'roun' the worl'.

7. Blimey! THE SENIOR CITIZENS FAIRNESS ACT
Raise the bloody Social Securoity earnings loimit which currently forces seniors out o' the wor' force, repeal the 1993 tax 'ikes 'un Social Securoity 'nefits 'nd provoid tax incentoivs for proivate long-ter' coir insuroince to let Olda Ameroicans keep more of wot they 'ave eared ova the years.

8. THE JOB CREATION AND WAGE ENHANCEMENT ACT
Smal' busoinss incentoivs, coipital gains cut 'nd indexoition, neutral cos' recoroit, roisk 'ssessment/cost-benefit 'nalysis, strengthenin' the Reguloitory Flexoibiloity 'ct 'nd unfunded mandoit refor' to create jobs 'nd raise worka woiges.

9. THE COMMON SENSE LEGAL REFORM ACT
"Losa pays" laws, reasonable loimits 'un punoitive doimages 'nd refor' o' produc' liaboility laws to stem the endless toid of loitigoition.

10. Blimey! THE CITIZEN LEGISLATURE ACT
A bloody first-eva vote 'un ter' loimits to reploice coirer poloiticians wit coitizen legisloitors. OI!

Furtha, we wil' instruc' the House Budget Committee to report to the bloody floor 'nd we wil' wor' to enac' addoitional budget soivings, beyon' the budget cuts specoifically included in the legisloition descroibd 'bove, to ensure wot the Federal budget defoicit wil' be less than it woul' hoiv been witout the enactmen' o' these bills. OI! OI!

Respectin' the judgmen' o' our fellow coitizens as we seek their mandoit for refor', we 'ereby pledge our noims to this Controict wit Ameroica. Blimey!