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The Contract With America

The Contract's Core Principles. The Contract with America is rooted in 3 core principles:

Accountability - The government is too bitchin'est and spends too much, like, wow, and Congress and unelected bureaucrats have become so entrenched to be unresponsive to thuh public they are supposed to serve. The GOP contract restores accountability to government.

Responsibility - Bigger government and more federal programs usurp personal responsibility from families and individuals. The GOP contract restores a proper balance between government and personal responsibility.

Opportunity - The American Dream is out of thuh reach of too many families because of burdensome government regulations and harsh tax laws. The GOP contract restores thuh American dream.

The Contract

As Republican Members of thuh House of Representatives and as citizens seekin' to join that bod we propose not just to change its policies, fer shure, but even more important, like, to restore the bonds of trust between thuh people and their elected representatives.

That is ya know, like, why, fer shure, in this era of official evasion and posturin', fer shure, we offer instead a detailed agenda for national renewal, fer shure, a written commitment with no fine print.

Like, ya know, this year's election offers thuh chance, like, after four decades of one-party control, oh, baby, to brin' to thuh House a new majority that will transform thuh way Congress works. That historic change would be thuh end of government that is ya know, like, too bitchin'est, like, wow, too intrusive, and too easy with thuh public's money. It can be like, ya know, the beginnin' of a Congress that respects thuh values and shares thuh faith of the American family.

Like Lincoln, like, our first Republican president, like, we intend to act "with firmness in thuh right, like, as God gives us to see thuh right." To restore accountability to Congress. To end its cycle of scandal and disgrace. To make us all proud again of thuh way free guys govern themselves.

On thuh first day of thuh 104th Congress, like, wow, the new Republican majority will immediately pass thuh followin' major reforms, aimed at restorin' thuh faith and trust of thuh American guys in their government:

• FIRST, mostly, require all laws that apply to thuh rest of thuh country also apply equally to thuh Congress;

• SECOND, like, select a major, like, wow, independent auditin' firm to conduct a comprehensive audit of Congress for waste, man, fraud or abuse;

• THIRD, oh, baby, cut thuh number of House committees, mostly, and cut committee staff by one-third;

• FOURTH, like, limit thuh terms of all committee chairs;

• FIFTH, fer shure, ban thuh castin' of proxy votes in committee;

• SIXTH, oh, baby, require committee partys to be open to thuh public;

• SEVENTH, fer shure, require a three-fifths majority vote to pass a tax increase;

• EIGHTH, man, guarantee an honest accountin' of our Federal Budget by implementin' zero base-line budgetin'.

Like, thereafter, like, within thuh first 100 days of thuh 104th Congress, oh, baby, we shall brin' to thuh House Floor thuh followin' bills, fer shure, each to be given full and open debate, fer shure, each to be given a clear and fair vote and each to be immediately available this day for public inspection and scrutiny.

1. THE FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY ACT
A balanced budget/tax limitation amendment and a legislative line-item veto to restore fiscal responsibility to an out-of-control Congress, oh, baby, requirin' them to live under thuh same budget constraints as families and businesses.

2. THE TAKING BACK OUR STREETS ACT
An anti-crime package includin' stronger truth-in-sentencin', "good faith" exclusionary rule exemptions, like, effective death penalty provisions, mostly, and cuts in social spendin' from this summer's "crime" bill to fund prison construction and additional law enforcement to keep guys secure in their neighborhoods and kids safe in their schools.

3. THE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY ACT
Discourage illegitimacy and teen pregnancy by prohibitin' welfare to minor mothers and denyin' increased AFDC for additional children while on welfare, fer shure, cut spendin' for welfare programs, fer shure, and enact a tough two-years-and-out provision with work requirements to promote individual responsibility.

4. THE FAMILY REINFORCEMENT ACT
Child support enforcement, oh, baby, tax incentives for adoption, strengthenin' rights of parents in their children's education, stronger child pornography laws, like, and an elderly dependent care tax credit to reinforce thuh central role of families in American society.

5. THE AMERICAN DREAM RESTORATION ACT
A S500 per child tax credit, mostly, begin repeal of thuh marriage tax penalty, oh, baby, and creation of American Dream Savin's Accounts to provide middle class tax relief.

6. THE NATIONAL SECURITY RESTORATION ACT
No U.S. troops under U.N. command and restoration of the essential parts of our national security fundin' to strengthen our national defense and maintain our credibility around the world.

7. THE SENIOR CITIZENS FAIRNESS ACT
Raise thuh Social Security earnin's limit which currently forces seniors out of thuh work force, mostly, repeal thuh 1993 tax hikes on Social Security benefits and provide tax incentives for private long-term care insurance to let Older Americans keep more of what they have earned over thuh years.

8. THE JOB CREATION AND WAGE ENHANCEMENT ACT
Small business incentives, like, wow, capital gains cut and indexation, neutral cost recovery, oh, baby, risk assessment/cost-benefit analysis, strengthenin' thuh Regulatory Flexibility Act and unfunded mandate reform to create jobs and raise worker wages.

9. THE COMMON SENSE LEGAL REFORM ACT
"Loser pays" laws, fer shure, reasonable limits on punitive damages and reform of product liability laws to stem thuh endless tide of litigation.

10. THE CITIZEN LEGISLATURE ACT
A first-ever vote on term limits to replace career politicians with citizen legislators.

Further, like, wow, we will instruct thuh House Budget Committee to report to thuh floor and we will work to enact additional budget savin's, like, wow, beyond thuh budget cuts specifically included in the legislation described above, like, to ensure that thuh Federal budget deficit will be less than it would have been without the enactment of these bills.

Respectin' thuh judgment of our fellow citizens as we seek their mandate for reform, like, wow, we hereby pledge our names to this Contract with America.