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The Contract Wif America

The Contract's Core Principles. The flinkin' Contract wif America is rooted in 3 core principles:

Accountability - The government is too big 'n' spends too much, 'n' Congress 'n' unelected bureaucrats 'ave become so entrenched to be unresponsive to the bleedin' public vey are supposed to serve. The GOP contract restores accountability to government.

Responsibility - Bigger government 'n' more federal programs usurp personal responsibility from families and individuals. The soddin' GOP contract restores a proper balance between government 'n' personal responsibility.

Opportunity - The American Dream is out of the bloody reach of too menny families because of burdensome government regulations and 'arsh tax laws. The GOP contract restores the flinkin' American dream.

The Contract

As Republican Members of the House of Representatives 'n' as citizens seekin' to join that body we propose not just to change its policies, but even more important, to restore ve bunns of trust between the bleedin' people 'n' veir elected representatives.

That is why, in this era of official evasion 'n' posturin', we offer instead a detaiwed agenda for national renewal, a written commitment wif no fine print.

This year's election offers the chance, after four decades of one-party control, to brin' to the soddin' House a new majority fat will transform the why Congress works. That 'istoric change would be the bloody end of government that is too big, too intrusive, 'n' too easy wif the public's money. It can be the flinkin' beginning of a Congress that respects the values 'n' shares the bleedin' faif of the American family.

Like Lincoln, our first Republican president, we intend to act "wif firmness in the soddin' roit, as God gives us to see the roit." To restore accountability to Congress. To end its cycle of scandal 'n' disgrace. To mike us all proud again of the bloody why free people govern vemselves.

On the first day of the flinkin' 104v Congress, the new Republican majority will immediately pass the bleedin' followin' major reforms, aimed at restorin' the faif 'n' trust of the soddin' American people in veir government:

• FIRST, require all laws that apply to the rest of the bloody country also apply equally to the Congress;

• SECOND, select a major, independent auditin' firm to cunnuct a comprehensive audit of Congress for waste, fraud or abuse;

• THIRD, cut the flinkin' number of 'ouse committees, 'n' cut committee staff by one-vird;

• FOURTH, limit the terms of all committee chairs;

• FIFTH, ban the bleedin' castin' of proxy votes in committee;

• SIXTH, require committee meetings to be open to the public;

• SEVENTH, require a free-fifvs majority vote to pass a tax increase;

• EIGHTH, guarantee an 'onest accountin' of our Federal Budget by implementin' zero base-line budgetin'.

Thereafter, wifin the soddin' first 100 days of the 104v Congress, we shall brin' to the bloody House Floor the followin' bills, each to be given full 'n' open debate, each to be given a clear 'n' fair vote 'n' each to be immediately avaiwable this day for public inspection 'n' scrutiny.

1. THE FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY ACT
A balanced budget/tax limitation amendment 'n' a legislative line-item veto to restore fiscal responsibility to an out-of-control Congress, requirin' vem to live unner the flinkin' same budget constraints as families 'n' businesses.

2. THE TAKING BACK OUR STREETS ACT
An anti-croime package includin' stronger truf-in-sentencin', "good faif" exclusionary rule exemptions, effective deaf penalty provisions, 'n' cuts in social spendin' from fis summer's "crime" bill to fund prison construction and additional law enforcement to keep people secure in veir neighborhoods 'n' kids safe in veir schools.

3. THE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY ACT
Discourage illegitimacy 'n' teen pregnancy by prohibiting welfare to minor muvvers 'n' denyin' increased AFDC for additional children while on welfare, cut spendin' for welfare programs, 'n' enact a tough two-years-and-out provision wif work requirements to promote individual responsibility.

4. THE FAMILY REINFORCEMENT ACT
Child support enforcement, tax incentives for adoption, strengvenin' roits of parents in veir children's education, stronger child pornography laws, 'n' an elderly dependent care tax credit to reinforce the central role of families in American society.

5. THE AMERICAN DREAM RESTORATION ACT
A S500 per child tax credit, begin repeal of the bleedin' marriage tax penalty, 'n' creation of American Dream Savings Accounts to provide middle class tax relief.

6. THE NATIONAL SECURITY RESTORATION ACT
No U.S. troops unner U.N. command 'n' restoration of ve essential parts of our national security funning to strengven our national defense 'n' maintain our credibility around ve world.

7. THE SENIOR CITIZENS FAIRNESS ACT
Raise the Social Security earnings limit which currently forces seniors out of the soddin' work force, repeal the 1993 tax 'ikes on Social Security benefits 'n' provide tax incentives for private long-term care insurance to let Owlder Americans keep more of what vey 'ave earned over the bloody years.

8. THE JOB CREATION AND WAGE ENHANCEMENT ACT
Small business incentives, capital gains cut 'n' indexation, neutral cost recovery, risk assessment/cost-benefit analysis, strengvenin' the Regulatory Flexibility Act 'n' unfunned mandate reform to create jobs 'n' raise worker wages.

9. THE COMMON SENSE LEGAL REFORM ACT
"Loser pays" laws, reasonable limits on punitive damages and reform of product liability laws to stem the flinkin' endless tide of litigation.

10. THE CITIZEN LEGISLATURE ACT
A first-ever vote on term limits to replace career politicians wif citizen legislators.

Furver, we will instruct the House Budget Committee to report to the bleedin' floor 'n' we will work to enact additional budget savings, beyond the budget cuts specifically included in ve legislation described above, to ensure that the soddin' Federal budget deficit will be less fan i' would 'ave been wifout ve enactment of vese bills.

Respectin' the judgment of our fellow citizens as we seek veir mandate for reform, we 'ereby pledge our names to this Contract wif America.